


Falling Too

by aknightchild



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2019-10-23 17:53:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 37,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aknightchild/pseuds/aknightchild
Summary: Ashley Blake had a tendency to get in the middle of things that she shouldn't, but she never thought that stopping a beating would lead to a guy like Tyler Joseph. She never knew that there was so much more to the quiet sweet boy that everyone knew.Tyler had such big dreams, ones that Ashley wanted to help make possible. He had even bigger demons though too and she didn't know if she could help with them as well. But when she begins to fall for Tyler, she decides to hide it out of fear of what could happen due to her reputation.But she doesn't seem to understand that's just what Tyler needs, someone that cares. Because he's very good at faking a smile and hiding the fact he just may be falling too...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm carrying this over from my Wattpad just incase anyone here would like to read it. :)
> 
> Chapter Song:
> 
> Rulers of Reverse (feat. Tyler Joseph)

I've always had a tendency to be attracted to people that are a bit messed up in one way or another. It's not like I do it on purpose, I guess it's because I'm somewhat broken myself. I knew I was in trouble when I met him though, because someone else's pain has never truly hurt me the way his did. Maybe I wanted to help him so badly because I thought he could help me too. I just never considered all that it would take, and what it would break.

***

"Ash! What are you looking at now? I really need your help with this." My friend Deiadra pleaded as she tugged on my sweatshirt sleeve to gain my attention.

I sighed softly as I turned my focus back to the English Lit. notes in my lap. I had been having a hard time studying this since it basically bores me to tears, staring into space had proved to be more fun than this. I moved around a bit on the uncomfortable bleachers we were on as I asked, "When is the test again?"

"This Friday."

"So, in two days?"

She nodded solemnly and I pulled my hood off despite the curly mess my hair was so I could tie it up, "Alright, well I guess it's time we buckle down on this."

As I reached for the textbook we were sharing the guys practicing on the basketball court start shouting and cursing, grasping both Dee and I's interest. Four of the six boys stood around two guys as one yelled at the other. I realized who the silent one was when I noticed the three large black bands of tattoos on his left arm. It was our college's best basketball player, Tyler Joseph. I didn't know him personally, but then again, he was kind of hard not to know about.

We had gone to the same high school and had managed to attend the same university as well. People tend to know a bit about each other when they live in our hometown, considering how small it is. I doubted that he knew anything about me, at least not anything good. From what I knew his life seemed fairly decent. His parents were teachers, the whole family pretty much lived and breathed basketball, and they all attended church every Sunday. Despite being around the 'cool' crowd in high school, thanks to his skills, I heard he didn't talk much. He also had a good singing voice, he appeared to be nearly perfect.

So now I couldn't help but wonder what this quiet little dude had done to make his teammate so pissed at him.

"You are not quitting this team!" The captain, Chase Dorman, shouted in his face loud enough to be heard by everyone else in the area.

Even though Tyler was probably the most talented that didn't mean he was in charge. He visibly shrunk back from Chase and just shook his head, beginning to turn to leave, but before he even took a step Chase grabbed him. Tyler was spun around like he didn't weigh an ounce. Chase then gripped Tyler's shoulders to the point it appeared painful. It didn't make sense to me, was Tyler leaving the team really that big of an issue? After all it was just a sport and they could always find someone else.

"Oh no, please don't tell me Dorman is going to hit Joseph." Dee murmured looking worried.

That was one of the things I didn't understand about everyone else at this place, they all only called the athletes by their last names and it just seemed weird. As soon as Chase reared back his arm, preparing to hit Tyler I jumped to my feet and shouted, "Aye Dorman!"

Okay so maybe I went along with the last name thing somewhat, but at least it got Chase to not punch Tyler.

"What do you want Blake?" He called up to me. Oh, so I was a part of the name game too.

I was at a loss for words from having all the focus on me, but I tried my hardest to play it off. "I want you to leave him alone."

Chase smirked asking, "Why should you care? I know you don't know him."

In the moment I paused Chase swiftly drew back his arm again and socked Tyler right in the temple. Tyler fell over from the force of the hit and I quickly ran down the steps of the bleachers.

I was only halfway listening to what Dee was yelling at me as I did. "Ashley! What are you doing? Don't go get in the middle of that!"

I don't really understand what was driving me to stick up for someone I barely knew. My best guess is that it had to do with how nice I knew Tyler to be. He apparently never participated in any of the partying and the other stupid stuff his teammates did. Also, he always was terribly sweet to the children's choir he helped direct. I knew that he of all people didn't deserve to be beat on, so I had to do something about it.

When my feet finally landed on the asphalt I wasted no time yanking out my phone, threatening, "Touch him again and I'll make sure that someone with the power to kick you out see's it and does."

Chase rolled his eyes and scoffed at me, but thankfully began to walk away. The space was finally cleared of the rest of the basketball team, well they had all started to leave as soon as Chase got physical with Tyler.

So since we were alone now I carefully kneeled next to Tyler, questioning, "Are you okay?"

Instead of answering my question he said, "You didn't have to do that, but thank you none the less."

When he finally lifted his head from his hands I noticed a cut just above his eyebrow and I blurted out, "You're bleeding."

"Am I?" He asked, sounding slightly confused.

I nodded vigorously, pointing out his injury with my own face as an example. His tan fingers reached up to touch the wound and he winced when he made contact with it. He brought his hand down to eye level to see that I had been telling the truth.

"Oh great." He muttered to himself.

"Um, is there anything I can do for you?" I asked, instantly regretting it because of how awkward it sounded.

"Yeah, do you have a Band-Aid or anything like that?"

I stood up saying, "Yeah, I do. Can you hang on for a second?"

He nodded and I rushed back over to the bleachers, telling Dee, "I'll text you later so we can finish this."

She gave me a confused look, "Where are you going?"

I shrugged, "Helping Tyler."

I hurried back over to him, since he hadn't moved I offered him a hand up. Tyler shakily got to his feet with my help and softly thanked me yet again. I only responded by telling him to follow me. We headed to my car in silence and when we arrived I didn't hesitate to pull my first aid kit out from under my passenger seat. I removed a few alcohol pads and some butterfly strips from the white box. Before ripping a packet open I turned to see that Tyler had been staring into the back of my car.

"You play the ukulele?" He asked, sounding like he couldn't believe it as he gestured to my instrument lying in its open bag.

I reached over to wipe the blood off of his face with the tiny alcohol pad, asking my own question, "Yeah, what about it?"

He flinched slightly from the sting, "Nothing really, I've just never met someone that plays one."

I tried to ignore the fact his brown eyes were actually very nice as I listened to him. I continued to fix him up while trying to avoid making eye contact again considering how close I was to his face. 

"It's super easy actually." I say with a shrug of my shoulders and moments later I was finished with his wound.

"I wish I could do something like that." He comments more to himself than me.

"Then why don't you? I could teach you if you want." I suggested as I put my things away.

"If I wasn't so busy with basketball I would say yes."

I gave him a puzzled look, "Didn't you just quit back there?"

He gave a dry laugh and shook his head, "I tried to, but you saw how well that went."

"Yeah... I'm sorry he did that to you. He's such a prick."

"Dorman has always been like that to me, just not the punching part." He explained while gingerly reaching up to touch his bandage before saying, "Seriously, thank you so much for helping me."

Why does he keep thanking me? "It's no problem."

We had a quick goodbye after that and I found myself hoping that he could stand up to Chase, but it dawned on me that it didn't make sense. What did Chase have to do with Tyler not quitting?

So, I was compelled to call after him, "Hey Tyler!"

He quickly moved around to face me again and I wondered why he had such a surprised expression on his face. Then I remembered I had just used his first name, but I decided not to draw attention to that.

"How does Dorman being a jerk have anything to do with you being on the team?"

"It's not about him. It's just my family, well my dad mostly, expects me to do it. I'm not sure that's what I want to do anymore. I can't help but feel that there might be something else I should be doing instead."

"Then go for it. This is your life and your wishes we're talking about here. Shouldn't you be doing something that you personally want?"

He gazed at me for a moment before a small smile tugged up the corners of his lips. His only response was, "I'll keep that in mind."

With that Tyler headed off further into the parking lot and I simply got in my car, quickly texting Dee about the events she just missed. To me this all felt like it was just a strange one-time thing. I couldn't imagine Tyler having a reason to talk to me again. How was I supposed to know that I had just stuck a foot into the ocean that is Tyler Joseph?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Misguided Ghosts by Paramore

Sunday mornings usually aren't that bad, until December is about to roll around. At this time of year not only is it cold, its hectic because of Christmas being just around the corner. Everyone was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming holiday, especially the kids. All they seemed to want to talk about during Sunday school was Santa coming, possible presents, and snow. So when Marceline and I told them about tryouts for the pageant that was to be held during the town's Christmas festival coming up they all cheered and began chattering amongst each other.

Moments later Karen and Tyler popped in to gather the members of the children's choir, but instead of Tyler rushing out once all ten of the singers were retrieved, he hung back. The rest of the children left the room with Marceline to find their parents, leaving me alone with him. I busied myself with picking up crayons and half-finished coloring sheets when I heard him speak just over my shoulder.

"So Ashley..." He began to speak, startling me a little from his closeness. "Mrs. Karen and I were discussing what is supposed to be played at the festival and I was wanting to ask you something about it."

I smiled softly over the fact he called her Mrs. Karen like the kids did before asking, "And what would that be?"

"Okay, so I was thinking that this year could use something different and you were the first person that came to mind for me. I was wondering, would you be willing to play your ukulele for it?"

I pondered over it for a moment before having an idea pop up in my head. I don't know exactly what made the thought come to mind, but I decided to just go with it by telling him, "Alright, but only if you sing while I play."

He looked slightly stunned, but he replied, "Sure, I can do that."

I grinned, "You have yourself a deal then."

A bright smile took over his features as he clapped his hands together and when he spoke he was jittery, "Great, um here let me give you my number."

He then reached over into the bin of markers, plucking out a blue one and grabbed my hand to neatly write down his phone number. Right before he dashes out of the door he tells me, "Just text me or something when you're ready to start practicing."

Once I was by myself I noticed the heat in my cheeks and I could only hope that Tyler hadn't noticed my blushing. I stared down at where he had written 'Tyler J.' for a minute. I thought about how just a few days ago being able to talk to Tyler or have his number actually never crossed my mind. Most people tend to avoid me at church and college other than the few friends I've had for years. Maybe he didn't know about my problematic past. If that was the case, I would like to keep it that way.

I sighed heavily as I brushed some hair out of my face and while glancing at the clock I decided I should be heading to the chapel so I could meet up with my friend Carly. When I was in the room I saw some of the usual faces for the nine o' clock service, but not my tiny red headed friend. After about fifteen minutes of waiting for her and the pews were beginning to fill up I took my usual seat in the fourth row. Right at the last second as the doors were closing so we could start Carly slipped in next to me.

"Just in time." I remark with a smile.

"My car doesn't like the cold." She says with a shrug.

"Are you sure that isn't just you?" I questioned, laughing a bit.

She laughed as well, but quickly stopped and her eyes widened a bit as she snatched up my hand asking, "What's this?"

"A phone number."

"Well duh, but who's?"

"Tyler's..."

"Like Tyler Joseph?"

"Uh, yeah."

"How did you manage to get his number?" Carly asked, so loudly that she caused several people to turn and look at us.

"Shh, calm down." I hushed her and scanned the room for the guy we had just been discussing. Thankfully he was nowhere in sight.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but seriously you need to explain."

"We're performing for the Christmas festival together, so he gave me his number to call him when I want to practice."

"Aw, that's so cute! You guys could be like a Christmas romance movie if you play your cards right."

Now I've always known Carly to be a hopeless romantic, but this time I think she could be pushing too hard for it. Besides I wasn't even interested in him like that.

So I shook my head saying, "Nah, it is not like that. He just needs some help and I was the first person that came to mind since he knows I can play an instrument."

She rolled her pale blue eyes at me muttering, "That might not be the only reason, you never know."

Thankfully the service started and our conversation ended, but it only lasted until we stepped out into the hallway to leave. Carly pulled me into the restroom, making sure that we were alone.

"You have to make this happen." She states in a firm tone.

I rose an eyebrow and decided to humor her by asking, "And why is that?"

"Think about it, maybe if you go out with him this church will finally let go of what happened with your dad. He is everyone's favorite boy, so if you mean something to him you must be someone good."

"Hold on, first of all I had nothing to do with that, so I don't understand why anyone has an issue with me anyways. Second I am not using Tyler!" I hissed feeling myself getting irritated over something that had taken place two years ago.

"Alright, it was just a thought. None the less it should be fun getting to know that quiet guy a bit better. Well my Sociology final is tomorrow, so I need to be heading home."

After that statement she pushed open the door to reveal Jamie standing just outside. She gave us both a dirty glare before shaking her head and walking away.

"Do you think she heard any of that?" Carly questioned once she was out of earshot.

"I honestly hope not." I reply, Jamie had a charming tendency of being a gossip and one to bend the truth to make the story more interesting.

Carly turned her attention to the clock saying, "Alright, I guess I'll talk to you later Ash."

She waved goodbye and hurried out with the last dwindling member of the church. Now I was all alone once more and right as I was slipping into my coat so I could leave as well, something caught my attention. The sound of beautiful piano playing made me pause to listen. The choir wouldn't still be here at this point and it was very obvious that music wasn't coming from the small music room. Intrigued, I followed the sound back into the chapel.

Peeking in between the double doors I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. Tyler was the one responsible for the music and my enjoyment was further increased when he began to sing.

"I will sing for you a song, tell me if you think that's wrong. If I let you know I'm here cause I am falling down."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> You Have My Attention by Copeland

 

 

It's funny how certain songs and melodies can get stuck in my head until I am forced to hear them again. Too bad that song was Tyler's. There was no way I could listen to it without asking or getting lucky enough to catch him playing it. I had an odd feeling that no one was even supposed to have heard him. So preparing to practice with him was making me somewhat on edge. I felt like I knew something I shouldn't no matter how ridiculous that seemed.

I drove around to the directions he had given me to his house, nervously patting the steering wheel the whole way. I pulled up to a fairly nice two-story home with several cars parked in the driveway. A light up nativity scene sat in the front yard and colorful Christmas lights decorated the front of the house. It was a really nice looking place. I took a deep breath in before setting foot out of my car and once I was on the porch, on the verge of turning around, the door opened. An older man that resembled Tyler stood on the other side, giving me a puzzled look.

"Um, hi. Is Tyler here by any chance?" I asked in a weak voice with a shy smile.

"Yeah, hang on a second." The man that I now believe is Tyler's father turned to shout up the stairs, "Tyler! Your friend..."

"Ashley." I fill in.

"Ashley is here!"

There was a somewhat faint reply of, "Alright, tell her to come up!"

"Well you heard the man." He said with a laugh and a grin, "He's the third door on the left."

"Thank you." I say before stepping inside the cream-colored entrance.

"Oh, I'm his father by the way, but you can call me Chris." He tells me and then gives me a wave before disappearing around the corner.

"Nice to meet you." I murmur to the empty air.

I then hurried up the carpeted stairs, clutching the straps on my ukulele bag. At the top of the steps I am met with the sight of Tyler smiling at me and gesturing for me to come in his room. I did just that and saw what appeared to be a double bedroom.

"My brother goes to an out of state college, so you won't be seeing him. None the less, this is our room." Tyler states, taking a seat on the bed in the corner. The fact that there was a shelf full of basketball trophies over it was a dead giveaway that it was his bed.

"I really like it in here." I comment, taking a seat at the opposite end of the mattress.

"Thank you, so are you ready to get started?" He asked with excitement dancing in his eyes.

I nodded, unzipping the instrument bag and pulled out my mahogany ukulele.

"Can I see it?" Tyler asked, sounding hesitant.

"Sure." I passed it over to his waiting hands.

His fingertips traced over the leaves, lizards, and swirl carvings on the face. He proceeded to strum the strings with a light grin. "This thing is beautiful. So what song did you decide we should play?"

"Even though it's kind of cheesy I was dabbling around with Silent Night on that and I thought it made the song sound really sweet."

"That's actually a great idea, everyone knows that song and the church will love it." He agrees vehemently while lifting his legs up onto the bed to cross them.

I couldn't help finding his behavior completely adorable, but I hurried to brush the thought away. "Do you want to hear it?"

"Yeah, go for it." He urges me, handing back the tiny instrument.

As I played the song I decided to keep my eyes down on what my hands were doing, seeing that Tyler was basically studying my movements. Having that boy's dark gaze trained on me was more than a little distracting. I'm sure if I held his stare for more than a few seconds I would mess up.

I was momentarily stunned when he began to sing along, "Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright..."

We kept on until the song until the song was over. I moved my eyes up to see that smile was still on his face, if not bigger than before.

Tyler chuckled, "Well that was easy."

I nodded, relaxing my fingers around ukulele's neck. "I figured it would be. Now we just need to go over it a few more times to make sure we have the song down pat."

"Sounds easy enough." He remarks as he turns his attention to the clock. "So you've literally only been here for fifteen minutes and I don't want to make you leave just yet. I also clearly have no idea how to not make this awkward by what I just said. I'm sorry."

I could only laugh at his choice of words for a minute before nodding, "You're okay, besides it did take a while to find this place, so I'll stay."

"What do you want to do now?"

"I could help you learn how to play." I suggest, holding up my ukulele.

Right when he went to grab it a female voice called out from another room. "Ty, have you seen my keys?"

A blonde girl poked her head in the room and as soon as she saw me her eyes widened. For some reason that made me nervous.

"No Maddie, did you check the kitchen?"

She shook her head no before slipping out again and a moment later her voice could be heard from downstairs, "Found them! Thanks!"

With that the muffled noise of the front door shutting suggested that she had left.

"That was my sister Madison. She's always rushing around, which makes her lose everything."

I couldn't shake the feeling that Madison knew me and might be a part of the people that don't like me for what my father did to our church. My mind then shifted to Carly and I's conversation from the other day, what if his sister thinks I'm just trying to use him? I could tell my paranoia was starting to take over and I knew I couldn't stay. I can't let Tyler see this, he just met me after all. I reached into my pocket while attempting to not allow my hands to shaking, acting like I had just received a text.

"Actually I hate to do this, but my mom just sent me a message and I need to be heading out."

"That's fine, so when should I expect to see you again?"

I had been hastily gathering my things, but that caused me to pause. I had somehow managed to forget that I would have to return after this. My plans of pretending none of this had ever happened were just thrown out the window. He expected me to help him and with that sweet and patient face of his there was no way I could turn all of this down.

So I asked him, "When's the next time that you're free?"

"Wednesday."

"Alright, I'll see you then." I got up and began to head for the door.

"Hang on."

I halt, "What's up?"

"Would you care if I came to your place?"

I didn't fight back my smile this time, "Not at all."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Mermaid by Skott

I flopped down on my comforter, sighing heavily as I stared at the top of my pale orange walls. I had made sure that every inch of the house was clean, which wasn't too difficult considering that I had already taken care of it three days ago. I tend to have quite a bit of free time. I have about fifteen minutes until Tyler is supposed to be here, so I guess I could relax until then. As if that was even possible.

I've only ever had a few friends in my life even before all the problems my dad caused, so there's an issue I've always had with meeting new people. I just can never get used to it, but it wasn't like Tyler was new to me anyway. Something about him was keeping me on edge none the less. I decided to ignore my nervousness by studying for my last final of the semester. That ended up doing nothing to change my state of mind and after several pages of looking at notes I became sick of it. I tossed the notebook back onto my white dresser and right after that the doorbell rings.

I hurried down the hall to answer it and I was a bit stunned to not find the usually bright and happy boy I've gotten to know on the other side. Instead Tyler had his hood up and his head down.

"Hey there, are you alright?" I asked as I widened the opening to allow him in my house.

"I'm fine." He mumbles, but shakes his head at the same time.

No he wasn't.

"Alright, well do you want to go get started?"

"Sure." He replies, still sounding strange.

Maybe he was beginning to get sick. I gestured for him to follow me to my room and I glanced over to see his reaction, but realized that I still couldn't see his face. I sat down on my bed and was surprised when he took a seat right next to me. My odd rush of excitement his closeness caused was short-lived when my worrying took back over as he placed his head in his hands.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" I question, hoping that I wasn't being too pushy.

"I think I've got a migraine."

"Do you want to do this another day then?"

"I'll be fine." He says lifting his head up, but as he does I notice something.

His bottom lip is bleeding.

"What happened to your mouth?"

He quickly licked his lips, seeming to just then remember the cut. "I got hit with the ball at practice today."

"That hard?"

"Y-yeah." He stutters.

Why does he keep lying? Someone had clearly hurt him. A weird sudden urge took me over and my hand reacted before my brain could catch up. I reached over and yanked off his hood. Tyler was much worse than I had first thought. Someone had obviously just gotten done pummeling him before he showed up at my doorstep.

"Tyler, who did this to you? Because I'm almost certain that a basketball can't give you busted lip and a black eye."

"It actually can."

"Yeah, but that wasn't what happened, was it?"

He let out a groan, pressing a hand through his hair. "Dorman got pretty upset about me bringing up quitting the team again and there wasn't anybody there to stop him this time."

I felt a wave of guilt flood my chest, but I knew there was no way I could've known that was going on. Even so, I said, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, but would you mind just keeping this between us?"

I gave him a look of disbelief, "Why?"

He shrugged, "I usually try not to bring other people into my problems."

"This isn't a normal issue that should be ignored. You need to tell your coach or someone other than me about what he's doing."

His response was a silent shake of his head.

"Listen to me, if you don't deal with him, I will."

He cracked a tiny grin at that and asked, "How do you plan to do that?"

"I'll go confront him and we will see where it goes from there." I state in a matter of fact tone.

He laughed quietly, "Ashley, you don't need to do that."

"Then are you going to?"

Again silence.

"Then I have to."

"But I don't want you to end up getting hurt over me."

"If he seriously tries to hit me for talking to him that says a lot about him."

"I don't think you attempting to test out Dorman's character is a good course of action. It's certainly not worth the risk of you getting hit."

I sighed, "Fine, I won't. You won't have to be seeing him anymore since you quit, right?"

"Actually..."

"You didn't do it, did you?"

He shrugged slightly, "It's kind of hard to finalize anything official when you're running from a mad man swinging his fists at you."

"Good point." I agreed, silently hating that Tyler was still having problems with Chase. Seeing though I wasn't going to get anywhere else with this at the moment I slapped my hands on my knees declaring, "Alright then, I guess it's for me to play nurse again. Hold on for a second please Mr. Joseph."

Tyler laughed while making a face.

"What was that for?" I asked while chuckling.

"I don't know, I've gotten kind of used to you calling me by first name and hearing my last out of you just feels strange."

I laughed softly, "Okay, I'll be right back Tyler."

When I returned with what I needed I saw that he had laid back on my bed with his legs still dangling off. I also took note of the discoloration at the bottom of his stomach where his shirt had road up, he had bruises there too. They appeared to be fading, so this had happened a while ago. Chase had been hitting Tyler a lot more than I had first thought.

I tossed the first aid kit next to him declaring, "I can't do it! This is being dealt with right now."

Tyler lifted himself up swiftly, "Where are you going?"

"To Chase's." I say as I storm down the hall and I could hear him rushing after me.

"I thought you just said you weren't getting in the middle of this?"

"I changed my mind." With those words I wrenched open my front door.

"What are you even planning to do?"

"I'm going to make a scene." I mutter as an excuse as I move swiftly down the sidewalk with him still tailing me. I honestly didn't have much of an idea of what I was going to do, but I knew right then I was in the mood to scream at someone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm going to have a few choice words with Dorman."

"Do you even know where he lives?"

"Yep, he's just two streets over from me."

"This is a really bad idea. Can we please just go back and forget this?"

I didn't hesitate to check for cars as I moved past my neighboring street, "You see, I won't be able to forget this, so at this point it's more for my mental wellbeing."

"Alright, well I'll just wait right here then."

Only then did I turn around and I seemed to shock us both when I grabbed his hand to pull him along with me. "Oh no you don't, I was there for you last time and now I need you to do the same for me."

He bit his lip before muttering, "Fine, let's get this over with."


	5. Chapter 5

 

It dawned on me right in front of Chase's home that I hadn't actually asked Tyler if he still wanted to quit the team. I was just going off of assumptions that it was still the case.

I paused to question him about it, "Hey do you still want to stop playing basketball? I feel like I'm being pushy and if this isn't what you want, we can go back."

I was surprised by how quickly he answered, "Yeah, I want to move on to something else. There are a lot of things I'd rather be doing."

"Alright, well here it goes." I state walking across the lawn and stepping on the porch, I was pleased to find that Tyler had followed me up here.

After several knocks Chase finally opened the door and he was so taken back for a moment he didn't say a word.

"What the fuck are you two doing here?" He grumbled, sounding like he might have just woken up.

"I want you to let Tyler leave the team and stop giving him a hard time about it." I say, not wasting any time.

"Why couldn't he just come tell me that? Is he too scared to handle this himself?"

"He's here right now, isn't he? I'm just with him to make sure that you keep your hands to yourself."

Before Chase could respond to me there was another voice from inside the house calling out, "What's going on out there?"

I noticed Chase visibly pale after that responding, "I'm talking to some people from school."

There was a sound of someone huffing out a breath as they got to their feet and began heading in our direction. A large man that resembled Chase came down the hall, putting the newspaper he had in his hands on a coffee table as he went by.

"How are you two doing this evening?" He asked, extending a hand out to shake ours.

"We're fine sir, we just wanted to settle some things with Chase and then we'll be out of your hair." I reply after shaking his hand and then nodding at Chase, who right then looked like he really wanted to hurt me.

"Alright my dear, what would that be?" He asked and I was surprised by how polite the man was compared to his son.

"My friend Tyler here just wants off the basketball team and Chase isn't allowing him to do so. Also as you can see, it's gotten physical."

Chase nearly flinched when his father turned his attention to the younger man questioning, "Now why would you be doing that?"

"I just thought that without Tyler we wouldn't win any more games and I guess I let things get out of hand after a while."

To my surprise and slight delight Tyler scoffed beside me and I could picture him rolling his eyes at the statement.

"Actually I happen to know for a fact that your team has won quite a few games without him." I point out, hoping that I wasn't insulting Tyler in the process.

"Well I don't see any reason for you to be holding the boy back if this is what he wants to do Chase." Mr. Dorman comments, giving his son a strangely stern look.

Not a trace of Chase's usual tough demeanor was to be seen after that. "I'll let coach know you're quitting and he should call you after that."

"Okay, well if that's all you both needed then I believe we're done here." Chase's dad states reaching for the door that Chase had a death grip on, but he almost sprang away when his dad reached for it.

Tyler and I thanked them and said a quick goodbye before departing, both of us clearly relieved to be done with that.

"Did something seem wrong about that situation to you?" Tyler asked when we were a street away.

"You noticed that too?"

"Yeah, I've never seen Chase act like that before. He actually seemed sort of scared."

"You don't think his dad does anything bad to him, do you?"

He shrugged, "I've never really talked to the guy, so I have no clue."

Before I could say anything back my cellphone began ringing and I pulled the small electronic out of my pocket to see my friend Josh was calling.

"Do you mind if I take this?" I ask Tyler, pointing at the phone.

He shook his head, "No, go ahead."

I swiftly thank him and answer the call, "Hello?"

"Hey Ash, would you mind dropping by my house? Everyone else here is boring." Josh pleads and I could hear several shouts of protest at his statement in the background.

I chuckled softly at his statement, telling him, "I can't right now, I have company."

"Bring them with you then." He whined.

"I can't just ask him to come with me to meet a bunch of strangers."

That got Josh's interest as he questioned, "Now who do you know that I don't? Who's the mystery man Ash?"

Tyler clearly caught on that we were talking about him and cut in, "Where are we going?"

I gave him a confused look as I rose an eyebrow saying, "Um, my friend Josh is wanting me to come over."

"Well I'm free to go, unless you just wanted to go by yourself."

"Oh no! It's not like that, I just didn't want to make you feel awkward." I blurt out.

"So are you guys coming or what?" Josh asks after a few minutes of listening to Tyler and me.

I glanced back at Tyler before responding with, "Sure, we're on our way."

After I got off the phone Tyler asked, "So do you want to take my car, yours, or should we drive separately?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "We can go in yours if you want."

He nodded with a light smile, taking out the keys from his coat pocket. Before we left I made sure to grab my own coat since I had forgotten it in my mad dash to go after Chase. Once I had locked up the house and went to get in Tyler's car I was highly surprised that he held my door open for me. I softly thanked him and hurried to take my seat, trying to conceal the redness I felt heating up my face. I hated the fact that he obviously had the power to reduce me to a blushing mess at times, but I have no clue how to stop it.

Thankfully I came up with the idea to blame it on the cold weather if he decided to ask, but to my relief he didn't. He simply asked me where to go and which turns to take. I was glad that Josh's place was only ten minutes away from mine because being in Tyler's car felt strangely private and personal. Even with the radio playing everything was so quiet compared to the panicking noise of anxiety in my head. My thoughts were making me a mixture of giddy and nervous, so I knew I needed it to end as soon as possible. I knew that if I kept allowing this weird rush of emotions to exist it could become something I don't think either of us are ever going to be ready for.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Circles by Pierce the Veil

 

 

Tyler didn't seem like the type of guy to listen to My Chemical Romance and yet as we pulled into Josh's driveway the chorus of The Sharpest Lives played. Then again I guess a person could listen to whatever sort of music they wanted, Tyler just didn't strike me as a rock guy. After he shut the car off there was a moment of silence, and I could've sworn I saw him tense out of the corner of my eye before unbuckling his seatbelt and hurrying out. I brushed it aside and took the lead toward Josh's porch. I barely had time to knock on the door when it was whipped open to Josh's beaming face. 

That had been one of the first things I had noticed about him when I had first ran into him at one of the many music stores he frequented. He has such a friendly face. I was glad to find out that I was right and so our friendship has been growing five years strong ever since. 

"Hey you!" Josh greeted me happily with a warm hug and after releasing me he turned to Tyler to give him one of those weird clap turned handshakes. "Nice to meet you man, I'm Dun. Josh Dun."

I rolled my eyes slightly and chuckled at Josh's silly introduction. 

"Same here, I'm Joseph. Tyler Joseph."

Josh grinned at his mirrored response, turning to me to announce, "This guy seems pretty cool."

I nodded in agreement.

"Josh! Are you going to let them in or not? It's freezing out there!" Dee demanded from somewhere in the house.

Josh gave us a sheepish smile murmuring, "Sorry, come in guys."

Once we stepped inside I saw Dee poking her head out of Josh's bedroom doorway, waving at us. We followed Josh to his room, and I immediately noticed Carly sitting behind his drum set.

She gave me a mischievous grin as she said, "Hey you two."

As soon as Josh realized she was tapping on one of the drumheads with a drumstick in hand he cried out, "Hey! Who said you could touch my kit?"

"I did." She responded with a laugh while launching the stick at his head.

Josh ducked at just the right second and it hit the wall behind him.

"Geeze guys, enough with the bedroom warfare." I fuss with a laugh as I stepped past Josh to sit on the vacant bed. When Tyler took a seat next to me, every eye in the room was trained on us. So I decided then to introduce him to my other friends, "So this Deiadra and Carly. Ladies, this is Tyler."

Waves and greetings were exchanged between the three of them.

"So from what I've heard, you both are supposed to be performing in the Christmas festival together. How's all that going?" Carly asks, appearing to just be trying to get him to talk more.

Tyler nodded, "So far, so good."

"What are you guys going to be doing?" Josh questions, joining the conversation.

"I'm going to play my uke and he's singing." I inform him.

"You guys need a drummer?" Josh asks with a smile that tells me he's only joking around.

"Well before we say yes to anything I think we should hear you play first." Tyler states, nearly appearing to be serious.

Carly apparently liked this idea because she hops over to the computer chair as soon as it is mentioned. Josh smirks as he takes her spot and readies his kit. As soon as he had the two drumsticks in hand Josh began tapping out a beat and then got gradually faster as he continued. I've always enjoyed watching him play the drums, mostly just because it was clear as day how much he loved it. Soon the rest of us were bobbing along to his beats and Tyler was obviously impressed with Josh's skill.

When Josh stopped playing he exclaimed, "Ta-da!"

Both Carly and I began clapping in an over the top manner, making everyone else laugh.

"Dude that was sick!" Tyler cheered.

Josh gave a goofy bow and muttered, "I wish my band thought I was as good as you guys do."

"I know the feeling." Tyler confided and I gave him shocked look.

I had no clue that he was in a band. If he had one of his own why did he want me and not them to play the festival with him?

"Really? What's going on with you yours then?" Dee asked.

Tyler shrugged, "They just keep telling me that I need to stick to making one type of music and I really don't want to."

"Why should you have to? Music shouldn't be put into little boxes and genres. I don't understand why people even think that way." Josh mused.

Tyler's eyes lit up as he nodded vigorously, "Exactly!"

I grinned as I realized that I probably just brought them both together as friends, well they actually seemed to have done that on their own.

"So what's the name of your band?" I asked when they had calmed down.

He grinned saying, "Twenty One Pilots."

Later after Tyler dropped me off at my house I ended up getting another phone call from Josh.

"So I'm pretty sure that Tyler kid has a thing for you." He comments out of nowhere.

I felt an instant blush flare up as I scoffed at the notion, "I seriously doubt it, we're just friends at best."

"I don't know about that. He stares at you an awful lot for it just to be a friendship thing." He remarks in a high pitch tone while chuckling to himself.

I shook my head, "Just let it go Josh, you're making something out of nothing."

I could nearly visualize the eye roll he gave me, "Whatever you say Ash. We'll see about that soon enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm just curious and I wanted to know if anyone can think of songs that remind them of this story? I would love to hear about them! Thank you in advance! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Too Good by Troye Sivan

"So, are you dating anyone Tyler?" Carly asks out of nowhere. 

Josh and I had been in a heated debate on what the best type of pizza was and Tyler seemed to just be laughing along at our behavior, but as soon as she said that the whole room fell silent. Josh and I turned our attention to Tyler. 

He was bright red from his neck up as he gave a hard swallow, "Not at the moment actually." 

"Are you talking to anyone then?" She pressed on and I noticed Josh sent me a confused glance that I could only shrug as a response.

Tyler shook his head no and thankfully for him Carly got a text from her dad asking her to head home a second later. When she moved to exit the room I followed her out, pulling the door ajar behind us. 

"What was that about?" I questioned as we made our way downstairs.

"I'm just trying to help you out."

"By embarrassing him to death?" 

"Well at least you know that he's not in a relationship."

"That doesn't matter either way." I hissed before adding on, "I'm pretty sure that he doesn't see me like that anyway. I don't even know if I want him to."

"You guys have been hanging out nearly nonstop since the first day you two met. That has to mean something." She points out and opens the front door. "Even if you're right, things just might change."

I rolled my eyes murmuring, "I'll see you at church."

She grinned and waved goodbye as she stepped out. I let out a puff of air as I shut the door behind her, thinking about her words and deciding to not put much weight in them. The sound of laughter snapped me out of my daze and I quickly headed back upstairs to see what I was missing. I was pleased to know that Tyler and Josh had been hanging out quite a bit since I had introduced them. Right when I reached the second floor I heard them mention my name, which caused me to pause outside the doorway.

"So you and Ashley? You two seem really close." Josh pondered aloud.

Tyler's answer was a simple, yet happy, "Yeah."

"Is there a reason?" 

"Well besides the fact she's a total dime piece, she's the nicest person I know."

At that moment I decided to push the door open and question, "What's a dime piece?"

Tyler nearly jumped out of his seat and Josh burst out laughing. I actually did know what that phrase meant, I had just wanted to see what his response would be. 

"Um, it's nothing. Just a saying." Tyler mutters, shaking his head.

So that meant Tyler thought I was attractive, right? Or maybe he was joking around. If he had truly been being serious, I didn't really know how to take that. I mean it wasn't like I didn't find him painfully adorable and sweet, but the fear of what the people around us might think had me hesitating. What if they thought that I was just claiming to be into to Tyler only to get back in the community’s good graces? 

I just nodded while I noticed Josh grinning like a fool, because of course he knew what it meant. Thankfully the topic was dropped after that and an hour later Tyler suggested that we go to his place to practice a bit. I agreed, secretly wanting the extra distraction, and when we arrived I was surprised to see an extra car in the driveway. We stepped inside to see a woman standing with her hands on her hips in front of Tyler's dad, Chris, and she did not look happy.

"Hey mom." Tyler greeted her, "Is everything alright?" 

"When did you quit the basketball team?" She asked, seeming to want to get straight to the point. 

Tyler's tan complexion faded ever so slightly at her words, but his voice was steady as he said, "A few weeks ago." 

She gave him a perplexed look questioning, "Why would you do such a thing? You know that your basketball scholarship is absolutely necessary to you being able to afford going to college. How are you planning to stay without it?"

"I still have my job." He pointed out with a weak smile.

"Catering isn't nearly enough to keep you there. What even made you come to this decision?" 

"I realized that there are other things I much rather be pursuing." He states and I tried to pretend not have noticed his slight glance in my direction, something that his mother clearly caught too. 

"Is it her? Tyler you can't quit something that is so important for your future over a girl you just met." She tells him, but she can't stop sending me harsh glares. 

Tyler shook his head swiftly, "It doesn't have anything to do with Ashley. All she did was help push me into making the choice since I would have been too afraid to without her words of guidance. I saw that whatever I decide to do, it needs to be something I actually want."

"Are you hearing yourself? That scholarship is the only way you're going to get what you want in life. This girl is trying to fill your head with nonsense so you'll be with her! She's a setback!" She cried before turning to speak to me, "Don't think that I haven't heard about you and your family. I know what you're trying to do to mine."

My jaw dropped at her statement and I stepped backwards until I could feel the doorknob against my spine murmuring, "I think I should go."

As soon as Tyler heard that his head whipped around and I wished he hadn't because I could feel tears starting to prick in my eyes.

"No, wait a second!" He called after me as I made my way outside.

I hurried to my car, furiously scrubbing the water from my eyes and that made it difficult to find the right key.

"Ashley, I'm sorry for what she said in there. She says weird, untruthful things when she's upset." Tyler tells me in a rush while looking panicky. 

I shook my head trying to hide my tear stained face, "It's fine. I just need to head home."

He sighed deeply, "At least let me come with you, no one should be driving when they're crying."

I didn't really care about how my emotions were going to affect my driving abilities at the moment, I just needed to get away from here. Of course his mom thought I was using him, something I knew everyone had to think when they saw me with him. So I understood that I needed to stay away from Tyler for my own good, I didn't want to make my reputation worse than it already was. My fingers found the plastic of the remote to unlock my car, at least I could get inside now. 

Tyler hastily grabbed my hand as I reached for the door handle, staring me down. "I'm not letting you leave on your own like this."

I let out a huff of air, giving him the keys and moved over into the passenger seat. He waited until he saw me buckle up before starting the car and I was grateful that he turned on the radio so we wouldn't have to speak. Tyler had proved to be very good at avoiding awkward silences, making sure they were always cast away with music. But not even that could help me right now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Sweet Disaster by Dreamers
> 
> Thank you nameyourself, for the recommendation!

I'm starting to think that Tyler might be just as stubborn as I am because when he pulled up to my house he insisted that he should stay a while. I was in no mood to really argue with him, so I gave in and allowed him inside. When we reached my room I flopped down on my stomach, slightly bouncing on the mattress as I landed. I had stopped crying halfway here, but that didn't mean I wasn't still seriously bummed out. I felt Tyler's weight at my knees as he sat down next to me, staying quiet for some time.

I nearly dozed off before he spoke up, "So I've kind of been learning how to play the ukulele on my own. Would you care if I played a bit on yours?"

"Go ahead." I softly tell him, refusing to lift my head.

He must have grabbed the instrument before he had sat down because I heard him begin playing right after that. It took me a moment of listening to figure out that he was playing Build Me Up Buttercup and then his singing confirmed it. I turned my head just enough where I could see him from my position and he strummed along while staring off into space. I really was lucky to have a friend like him, someone that wanted to make sure that I was okay at times like this. When the song was finished I rolled away from him enough to be on my back before letting my leg be against him again, something about being able to feel him there was comforting in a way. I stared up at the ceiling as I made the choice to ask him a question that I honestly had never really wanted to ask.

"Hey, Tyler?"

He turned to face me, "Yeah?"

"Do you know why everyone hates my dad?"

He rose an eyebrow at my seemingly random question, but it was far from random. I wanted to see if he knew about what had occurred, and what he thought of it, and of me. "I never really got the full story, so not really."

"Well..." I sat up staring down at my hands as I spoke, "Everyone knows that while he was a preacher at our church he stole a ton of money that was meant for several charity events and that almost caused the place to close."

He nodded, "I remember that part, things were really bad for a while back then."

"Well, apparently my mom knew something about it but didn't say anything. After my dad disappeared with the money the other staff at the church found out about what she had been hiding and it got out to everyone else. Come to find out that my father had been having an affair with one of the other preacher's wives and she had run away with him. My mom had been too ashamed to speak up and she just hid in the background about it. I guess everyone thought I knew about it too, but my main focus has always been teaching Sunday school, going to school myself, and learning how to play the uke. I had always figured that my dad was a busy man, that's why I didn't see him much sometimes. We were all sort of busy people. And then one day it was all just too busy and everyone was asking me questions. Like why didn't you tell someone? Why didn't you try to stop him? They all thought I had something to do with it."

Tyler shook his head, his mouth scrunching up with what looked like irritation. "How could they just assume that?"

I shrugged, "I guess it made sense to them. My mom knew, so why shouldn't I? I was so stuck in my own head that none of what was happening with my parents really fazed me and after that, I couldn't stop it from being shoved in my face. I'm almost certain that the only reason I got to keep teaching Sunday school was because of Marceline taking up for me. She and Carly were the only people that obviously believed me at the time. My mother stopped going to church after that and now she has two jobs that she's more concerned with than ever being here, I guess that's her way of coping. So now I'm just waiting to finish college so I can get out of here too. I'm tired of living in the shadow of my father's mistakes."

Once I finished my confession I was stunned that Tyler moved closer to me and gave me a tight hug. I warily wrapped my arms around him in return, wondering why he was doing this.

"Everything makes so much more sense now." He murmured softly but his closeness allowed me to hear him clearly.

"What do you mean?"

"Why people act the way they do towards you and it's so unfair. You were just trying to live your own life and they blame you for someone else's choices that you didn't know about. I'm so sorry." He tells me as he presses himself more into my body before finally letting go.

"So you believe me?" I asked in a wavering voice.

"You haven't given me a reason not to."

I gave a half smile at that, "Thanks Tyler."

I could only wish that everyone else could see it the way he did, but I guess that's what made him different from them. Tyler hadn't known me before all that had gone down and yet he believed me because he clearly trusted me. It was something that I didn't want him to know how important it really was to me.

He returned a brighter smile asking, "So are we going to practice for the festival or what?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, hand it over."

While we practiced I couldn't get my mind off of how kind Tyler has always been to me. I wondered if he knew that I intended to keep my plan of leaving for good and that he probably wouldn't see me again after that, I really hope it wouldn't hurt him in any way. I don't see how it could, it wasn't like we were anything super important to each other.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Trees by Twenty One Pilots

I adjusted my instrument bag before knocking on the door, but instead of Tyler standing on the other side, it was Chris.

He smiled informing me, "He's out back in the woods. If you want to see him before sundown you might want to go look for him."

I rose my eyebrows, but nodded, "Alright, thank you."

I stepped into the backyard, gazing out into the tree line for Tyler. I stepped into the underbrush, calling out his name as I made my way around. What was he even doing out here? What had his dad meant about seeing him before sundown? Does that mean he does this all the time?

While I continued to search for him I thought about how relieved I had been when I found out that Tyler's dad decided to support Tyler's decision to quit basketball, and that he didn't hold any grudge against me. He had said that it was up to Tyler to figure out what he wanted. A moment later I saw white just in the distance and I moved hastily towards it to spot Tyler standing in just a t-shirt and jeans. Was he trying to get sick?

"Is there anybody out there?!" He shouted up to the trees.

"Tyler? What are you doing?" I questioned him as I walked up behind him.

He jumped at the sound of my voice and whirled around to face me with a surprised expression. Instead of answering me he rushes over to tightly hug me.

I tried again, "Is everything okay?"

He pressed his face against the space between my neck and shoulder before nodding. I did my best to fight off the chill that threatened to race down my spine from the sensation and wrapped my arms around his slim torso.

I realized that he was shaking a few seconds later, so I gently patted him on the back murmuring, "Hey, let's head inside. It's freezing out here."

For a minute he didn't do or say a thing, but then like a flick of a switch he let me go and he had a smile on his face. I was so confused, what was with the sudden change in mood? Was he trying to fake it for my sake? I felt like I shouldn't press more on the issue, but that didn't stop it from bugging me. I followed him into the house and up to his room, watching as he went to his closet and pulled out a gray hoodie. From the look on his face, something was clearly bothering him and I was dying to know what it was.

He slipped on his extra clothing before asking, "So are we going to practice or not?"

I decided to push aside my worries and got out my ukulele. "Let's take this from the top then."

***

The next day I was glad to see that I had a text message from Tyler asking if I wanted to hang out with him and Josh. Also, I got one from Josh basically pleading for me to agree. I told Tyler sure and just to mess with Josh I didn't answer. I met up with them at the public playground near Josh's house and I found Tyler spinning Josh on one of those weird saddle style seats.

"I didn't think you were coming!" Josh shouted while doing his best to hang on and nearly kicked Tyler in the stomach.

Tyler stepped back, shaking his head at our twirling friend.

"Well, I'm here now." I laugh while watching Josh try to make his chair stop moving.

"Okay, somebody let me off!" He demanded as he started to lose his balance.

Tyler shook his head laughing, "You're on your own man."

I stepped over to Josh, grabbing his leg to halt him and when he got off the seat he stumbled before falling into me.

"Easy there, buddy. You're gonna fall over." I warn him as I did my best to hold him up. Having Josh's dead weight in my arms was getting a bit too heavy for me so I turned to Tyler. "Help me please."

He gave me an impish grin asking, "Why should I?"

After that Josh nor I could hold each other up and we toppled over into the mulch. I could hear Tyler laughing so hard that he was pretty much gasping for air. I moved Josh off of me and I could tell that he was still dizzy.

"Get him, Ashley!" Josh cried while starting to laugh himself.

I scrambled to my feet and ran towards Tyler, but then I suddenly remembered that he was a basketball player and a fast one. So catching him would be nearly impossible, but that didn't stop me from trying. He swiftly ducked out of my way when I reached him, his laughter never ceasing. I turned back around and attempted to catch him again, but now my own giggling was getting in the way. I was too concerned with how funny this all was to notice that I tripped over my own feet and I almost fell over again, but Tyler managed to grab me before that happened. He pulled me back into an upright position and when our eyes met I saw the smirk on his lips. It caused my stomach to feel like it just exploded with butterflies, I really wish I didn't find him so good looking.

I quietly thanked him before stepping out of his hold. I glanced over at Josh to see that he was back on his feet with a knowing smile on his face as he watched Tyler and me.

Thankfully Josh decided to distract us by yelling, "To the swings!"

Tyler took off running right after Josh did and I moved to keep up with them, smiling from ear to ear over how wonderfully childish we all were. Tyler ended up making us all compete in who could jump off the swing the furthest and surprisingly I won. While in the middle of my little happy dance I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I got it out to see that I had a text from my classmate and friend Dwane.

'Aye, where are you? Did you skip without me?'

"Crap!" I exclaimed, shoving my cell back in my pocket.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked looking worried.

"I forgot that I have an afternoon class today. I'm so sorry guys, but I have to be leaving."

"Wait what day of the week is it?" Tyler questioned with wide eyes.

"Tuesday." Josh and I say at the same time.

"You can't be serious! I feel terrible, but I have to be heading out too."

Josh waves it off, "Don't worry about it guys, we'll hang out again later."

We all gave each other hugs goodbye and I could have sworn I heard Josh chuckle when I embraced Tyler, but I decided to ignore it. I hurried to my car and when I drove off I may have gone a bit over the speed limit so I wouldn't be terribly late. I saw from my rearview mirror that Tyler was right behind me. I ended up finding a parking space before he did and I didn't waste any time as I yanked my backpack from my passenger seat. I locked up and ran as fast as I could, my class that only had two minutes until it started. In the back of my mind, I hoped that Tyler wasn't as late as I was.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Lemon Eyes by Meg Myers

I was relieved to see that I had made it in before my professor had, Mr. Rison could be a bit strict. Dwane looked surprised to see me, but he quickly snapped out of it and motioned for me to take the seat next to him.

Once I sat down and got situated he asked, "You're never late, so where were you at?"

I shrugged while still trying to catch my breath, "I was hanging out with Josh and Tyler, and I guess I forgot about needing to be here."

"Who's Tyler?"

I gulped, I knew Dwane was going to give me a hard time no matter what I said. So I just told him, "Joseph."

"The basketball player? How did you end up being friends with him?"

"I kind of got in the middle of an argument Dorman was having with him so he wouldn't beat Tyler up and Tyler ended up talking to me a lot after that."

Dwane wiggled his eyebrows teasing, "Oh, you're his hero now."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but before I could respond Mr. Rison walked in the room.

A good forty minutes later I was knocked out of my focus on the lecture from my phone's endless buzzing. When I saw that Mr. Rison had his back to us as he wrote on the board I slipped my cell out of my pocket and held it just under my desk. I had seven missed calls and a ton more text messages from Tyler begging me to answer him.

Dwane must have noticed the concerned look on my face because he whispered, "Is everything okay?"

"I... I don't know. Tyler keeps calling me for some reason." As I stammered my phone began vibrating again.

Dwane shocked me by snatching the cell out of my hand and pressing the talk button. I could have sworn my heart nearly broke when I heard the way Tyler sounded on the other end.

"Oh thank goodness. Ashley? I need you to come to my car, please." He pleaded and it sounded like he was on the verge of crying or just plain freaking out.

I took the cellphone back from Dwane and asked, "Tyler, what's wrong?"

"I forgot to lock my doors and somebody got in here and stole my radio and CD's."

"Wait, seriously?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, and I don't know what to do."

"Is there a problem Ms. Blake?" Mr. Rison questioned as he glared at me.

I glanced back at Dwane and he mouthed, 'You need to go.'

"Hey, hang on I'm on my way right now, okay?" I tell Tyler before turning my attention to my professor saying, "Um, I have to leave."

"Is there an emergency?"

I swiftly stuffed my things in my bag and tossed one of the straps on my shoulders nodding, "Yeah, there is."

As I rushed out the door I heard Dwane clapping and yelling after me, "Go, Ashley! Save your boy!"

I let out a heavy sigh as I thought of what the rest of the class might be thinking, but I pushed the pointless worry aside and picked up my pace. I spotted Tyler's navy blue car with the driver's door wide open and he was sitting behind the wheel with his head in his hands. I dropped my backpack right outside of the vehicle before opening the passenger door and getting in to put my hand on his arm.

He jumped as if I had shocked him, but as soon as he realized it was me he pulled me to his chest. His fingers dug into my sides as he held me and I could tell that he was having a hard time breathing by the way he was panting for air. He was clearly on the verge of having a panic attack.

I put my arms around him and rubbed large circles against his spine murmuring, "It's alright. It's over. We'll get campus security to look at the cameras so they can find the thief. We will take care of it and if worse comes to worst I'll help you buy back your things, okay?"

"Okay." He replied softly.

I could tell that he was still fairly shaken up, so I said, "Right now I just want you to breathe. If you need to you can try to match yours with mine, alright?"

He then scooted closer to me until we were flush together and I tried to keep my breathing steady for his sake, and secretly my own. We sat in silence until his breathing finally evened out and then he moved his body away from me giving me a soft smile.

In a hushed voice, he said, "Thank you."

I tilted my head in slight confusion, "For what?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, for dealing with my problems I guess?"

I grinned shaking my head, "Any time Tyler."

I watched him nervously lick his lips before questioning, "So I guess it's time we go deal with this?"

"Yeah, but let's take my car." I say and we both step out.

Tyler made sure to lock up this time around before we left. While I drove us to the security office my mind kept drifting back to something I've been trying to ignore from the moment I stopped that fight between Tyler and Chase, if it could have even been called that. The way I had instantly felt the need to protect him and that every time I am around him I feel a little bit stronger, at least for his sake. Tyler seemed to be changing me and he had no clue that he was even doing it. I snuck a quick peek at him as he gazed out the window and anxiously messed with his hair. 

I knew I couldn't lie to myself any longer, I have a huge crush on Tyler.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> She's the Prettiest Girl at the Party, and She Can Prove It with a Solid Right Hook by Frank Iero and the Celebration

The Christmas festival was now right around the corner, in fact, it was the next day. Everyone had been spending the entire month of November preparing for this event, especially Karen. So I volunteered to take her place on finishing up on decorating the signs, because she clearly deserved a break. The few times I've seen her running around the church she had a coffee in hand and dazed look in her eyes. I had planned on just spending my day surrounded by crafting supplies and silence, but thankfully Dee had been nice enough to waste her Saturday helping me get everything done.

"The S is ready for glittering." She murmurs as she moves over to the T and begins tracing it with glue.

I watched her careful work, Deiadra has always been very talented with arts and crafts. I unscrewed the lid on the silver glitter bottle and poured a bit into my palm. A shadow in the hallway catches my interest and a second later Tyler was walking past, thumbing through a red notebook. I instantly remembered seeing it the last time I had watched him play the piano in the chapel. I sat the glitter down on the edge of the table so quickly that it managed to tip over and spill all down the front of my black jeans.

Dee jumped back exclaiming, "What the...!"

"I'll deal with it in a minute." I mutter as I race out of the room with the flakes coming off of me like sparkly snowfall.

Despite the mess, I'd just made I rushed right to the chapel doors to see Tyler taking a seat behind the piano and letting out a deep exhale. A moment later he began to play.

And then sing, "You walk around like you are fine. So confident in life, so right. But then I found you were afraid and that means life is not okay. I wonder what's inside your mind and if there's anything to find. I hope that you awake someday and see that life is not okay."

I watched Tyler quickly shake his head, almost as if he didn't like that part. I can't see how he doesn't consider it beautiful like I do, but then again he is the artist of it. From what I have heard of this song it seemed terribly sad in a way, but at the same time, it seemed to be pushing for something more positive.

"Hey! What are you doing? I'm not cleaning all that up by myself." Dee informs me, looking slightly glittery herself.

The sound of music abruptly stopping told me that Tyler must have heard her, so I grabbed Dee's hand and drug her back to the Sunday school room. Right as we got in I heard the chapel doors squeak open.

I spoke in a hushed tone, "Crap he heard us, just act casual if he comes in here."

"Were you spying on Tyler?"

I grabbed the broom and dustpan, feeling thankful that this room had tile floors as I muttered, "No, I just wanted to hear him play his song."

She grinned as she rose an eyebrow at me, "So why don't you just ask him?"

I shrugged as I tried my best to get the silver sparkles into a single pile, "I get the feeling that no one is even supposed to hear it."

She scoffed at me, "I have a feeling that he would make an exception for you if that were the case. You're pretty much his best friend after all, so you should try asking him."

"I'm not really his best friend, Josh is."

She gave me a playful smirk, "Oh you're right, you two mean a bit more to each other, don't you?"

Before I could protest Tyler's head pops in the room and he appeared surprised. I hoped and prayed with everything that I was worth that he wouldn't ask what I was just doing because that was not something I really want to explain. I waited for my on slot of extreme embarrassment with my hands gripping the broom handle.

"You look like a fairy sneezed on you." He points out with a chuckle.

"Ashley's just a klutz." Dee giggles and I focused on not letting out a sigh of relief so powerful that it probably would have blown the glitter around.

I kept sweeping and only responding by sticking my tongue out at them. They both chuckled that time.

"So what did you do?" He questioned as he stepped in the room and picked up the turned over sparkles, getting some on his hands.

"I had tried to put it back on the table and it tipped over." I say as I grab the dustpan, avoiding making eye contact with him.

"Do you two need any assistance with the rest of this?"

Dee started to say, "Sure..."

But I cut her off, "No, no it's fine. We're almost finished actually."

Tyler rose his eyebrows and an amused smile took over his features while he spoke, "You sure? It looks like you are having a hard time."

Dee seemed to be having difficulty holding in her laughter, like there was some sort of inside joke that between them that I wasn't getting.

None the less I tell him, "Yep, we can manage."

Tyler's grin only got wider as he said, "Well you know if you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask."

After that he left the room with a wave and Dee was stuck in that silent sort of laughing that happens when you can't breathe because of how funny something was.

"Are you done yet?" I grumbled, having a feeling that Tyler knew that I had been listening in and he was teasing me over it.

She shook her head and calmed down enough where she could talk, "You are so painfully obvious."

I furrowed my brow, "What do you mean?"

She turned her attention back to the poster on the table mumbling, "I truly hope that he can see what everyone else can."

My cheeks reddened just thinking about what she could have meant. I on the other hand honestly hoped he didn't see anything.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

 

I couldn't stop myself from worrying that Tyler would be crept out by the gifts I had gotten him. What if he thought it was too much? His birthday presents consisted of several of the CD's he had gotten stolen and a gorgeous mahogany ukulele. Josh had mentioned that whenever they went to the music store together Tyler would always play on that exact one. I knew that he already had one that had been owned before, but I figured he deserved this new one since he clearly liked it so much.

I adjusted the two boxes on the floorboard of my car in the back, I didn't want him to know how much I had actually got him just yet. I starred at my reflection in the metallic blue wrapping paper for a moment, making sure that my straw blonde curls were still being tame for once. I straightened out my tan dress, running my hands over the white lace that laid overtop of it before getting in my car and driving to the recreation center. I had at least an hour before we had to perform, but I wanted to make sure that I had everything ready for when we did.

Right when I went to tune my ukulele I remembered that I had left my tuner in the music room at church. I checked my phone seeing that I still had enough time to run across the street and get what I needed. I slipped my gray coat back on and hurried out into the cold. I could tell from the whiteness of the sky that it was probably going to snow at some point today. I entered the church through the side door that lead into the chapel and much to my surprise Tyler was there, sitting behind the piano.

"Tyler!" I shouted without thinking and by the expression on his face I had startled him too.

As soon as he realized that it was me an ear to ear smile took over his face. "Hey, Ashley! Wow, you look really pretty."

I felt myself blushing as I murmured, "Thanks."

Tyler quickly got up to head over to where I was and then I could see what he was wearing. He had on tan dress slacks that were only a tad darker than my dress and a white long sleeve button up shirt with a black bow tie. Without even trying he and I had managed to nearly match.

"You look great too." I tell him as I gestured to his wardrobe.

He grinned, "Thank you, so what are you doing here?"

"Getting my tuner." I say, pointing in the direction of the music room.

"So are you nervous?"

I shrugged, "Not really, are you?"

"Sort of, but I'll have you there with me so I should be fine."

The heat in my cheeks got more intense at that, so I attempted to play it off by joking, "Yeah, just so they'll laugh at both of us if one of us messes up."

He rolled his eyes at me, but his happy expression never faltered. "Let's get your stuff and then head over to the rec center."

On our way out I remembered that I hadn't said anything about his birthday, so I shoved his shoulder slightly with my own saying, "Happy birthday Ty."

He grinned, pushing me back, "Thank you, Ash."

Once inside we saw that the place was filling up fairly quickly and we hurried to the back where the general audience wasn't allowed. We were the last act before the children's pageant, so we had enough time to run through the song one last time before they were calling us out. 

"And finally we have a special treat." Karen announces to the crowd, "Two first time performs for the Christmas festival. Ashley Blake and Tyler Joseph."

Carly, Dee, and Josh could be heard cheering for us, but at the same time, I could nearly sense the hesitation in the rest of the building. Now I was starting to get nervous, was this only going to make me look worse to the rest of our church? I glanced over at Tyler right as he was finishing up his vocal warmups and decided that right at this moment I couldn't care less about anyone else's opinion. I was doing this for myself and Tyler.

"Are you ready?" He asked looking antsy.

I nodded with a bright smile, "Totally."

The audience came to a hush when we got in our places next to each other behind the microphone. I chose to keep my eyes focused on Tyler as I began to strum by instrument.

Right on queue, he was singing, "Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child. Holy infant..."

I couldn't help getting lost in his voice the way I always do. Every time he peered over at me to see what I was watching him, I could tell that I was keeping him calm. When we finished the song I was floored by the crowd's response, they loved it. Well of course they did, Tyler had finally sung for them. Tyler put his arm around the middle of my back, making me take a bow with him.

"They loved us." He murmurs in my ear, his warm breath tickling my neck.

_No, they loved you_. I think to myself as we exit the stage.

As soon as we joined the mass of people I was surprised to actually receive some compliments.

"Great job up there!"

"You made the song sound so sweet."

"That was amazing Ashley!" Were among the words of praise I received.

I thanked everyone that spoke to me and swiftly moved to find a seat. Luckily Josh had saved us two seats by him. 

"I liked that you guys decided to match for the show. It was a cute touch." Dee remarked.

"Oh, we do, don't we?" Tyler asked, finally noticing our clothing similarities.

"So you didn't do that on purpose?" Dee questioned, sounding a bit surprised.

We both shook our heads no and she just chuckled at us before sitting back down.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling when Josh got up to hug me, softly saying, "Look at you Ashley, that was awesome. I'm glad that you did it."

He had known about my worries over doing this ever since I had introduced him to Tyler and that I almost backed out of it several times. I was glad now that I had listened to him urging me to stick with it. "Thanks, Josh."

A second later I heard a 'psst' sound and a piece of popcorn hit me in the shoulder. I turned to see Dwane and our other friend Brandon sitting behind me.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked with a grin.

"I'm taking a few pictures of the campus paper and I'm not really sure why he's here other than to be annoying." Brandon tells me with a laugh before holding out his fist to bump mine, "Great job by the way."

"So is that him?" Dwane questioned, cutting into the conversation and not even attempting to be subtle about it.

I peeped over at Tyler, finding that he was messing with his phone before nodding.

"Aw, that's little TyJo." He teases with a wicked smirk.

Right at that Tyler turned around, looking confused, "Who's asking?"

I spoke before they could, "This is Dwane and Brandon, I know them from school."

Dwane quickly spoke up, "And I know you because she gushed to me the other day about you."

I gave Dwane a pointed look, "No, I didn't."

"But you've clearly mentioned me before." Tyler points out with a playful smile.

"Dwane had asked me why I was late the day we had went to the playground and I told him that I was with you and Josh. That's pretty much it." I defend, starting to get embarrassed.

Before any of us could say another word Jamie rushed over to Tyler, shouting his name. Josh and I exchanged puzzled glances as she hugged him tightly. My eyes met Jamie's and I was shocked by the look she gave me, she seemed pissed to say the least.

"What's that about?" Josh whispered to me.

I shook my head, refusing to break eye contact with her. The last thing I needed was Jamie thinking I was scared of her. I hated the fact Tyler actually hugged her back and appeared happy to see her. Tyler was the type of person to not be mean to somebody unless he absolutely had to, someone like Jamie should have been a part of that. When she finally left I couldn't shake off the irritated feeling I had.

Why did it have to be him that she wanted to be friends with? My only guess is the fact she could probably never find any dirt on him. There was basically nothing wrong with Tyler for her to find. That was how she did everyone, including me, she would be your friend until she found out your darkest secret and then you were nothing more than a story to tell for her. That was how the rest of the church found out what was going on with my dad, it was supposed to stay among the staff, but Jamie didn't let that happen. So in a way, I ruined a lot of things for my mom and myself because I had made the mistake of trusting Jamie.

"Ashley, everything okay over there? You're looking a bit green." Carly questioned and I could tell that she was biting back a grin.

"Um, yeah. I don't feel sick or anything."

"No, I'm saying you look really jealous right now." She explains finally letting her smirk free.

My face turned red yet again at that because everyone was looking at me, including Tyler. I tried to brush it off, but I stuttered, "W-What is there to be jealous of?"

Something was on my side at that moment because right then it was time for the pageant to start and we all had to quiet down. I noticed that several times throughout the show Tyler kept peeking over at me. By the end of the festival, I was a ball of nerves. Did Tyler know that my jealousy was over him? And if he does, did he think it was weird?

"Hey, Ashley?" He asked once everyone was starting to clear out.

"Yeah?" I asked trying to keep myself calm.

"Would you care to come with me to my house? There's something I want to show you."

I rose my eyebrow, but none the less I said, "Okay, let's go."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Falling Too by Tyler Joseph

On our way out of the recreation center, we ended up getting stopped by Madison. I quickly noticed that she didn't seem as uneasy around me as usual when we look at each other.

"Hey, mom and dad wanted me to tell you that Zack and Jay are going to be at the restaurant tonight."

An excited grin sprung up on Tyler's face, "Seriously? That's awesome!"

Right when his sister went to reply we were all shocked to witness Chase approach us.

"Tyler, Ashley? Do you guys have a minute?"

I glanced over to see Tyler's unsure expression, but he said, "Sure."

Chase let out a huff of air before speaking, "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized the way I have treated you both was uncalled for. Especially you Tyler. I figured out that I was behaving like someone I never want to be."

I pretended to not notice the glance he sent his dad's direction from across the room before continuing to talk.

"I'm not expecting you two to forgive me, but I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry."

Tyler nervously licked his lips before saying, "Okay, thanks, Chase."

Chase nodded, sending us both an awkward smile and hurried back the way he had come.

"Alright, so are you ready to get out of here?" Tyler asked me, clasping his hands together while looking like he was raring to go.

As soon as I nodded he told Madison a fast goodbye and we rushed to his car. Since he had a firm grip on my hand I had no choice but to tag along with him and leave my car behind. I decided that I would ask him to drop me back off here after he was done with me. When we reached his house I relished in the quiet around us once we were inside.

"Follow me." Tyler instructs and gestures for me to do so.

I was surprised that he turned to a door that I had never seen open before, but to be fair it wasn't like I ever really went anywhere other than Tyler's room. He opened the door to reveal a darkened staircase going down to what was probably the basement. I carefully trailed behind him and when we reached the floor the light flicked on to expose a space that resembled a makeshift music studio. Tyler made his way over to a keyboard and a microphone set up in the back corner of the room.

"Is all of this yours?" I question as I approached his equipment.

He nodded as he sat down behind the piano, "So, I happen to know that you've heard me play at church."

I felt all the blood drain out of my face at that statement, but before I could utter a single word Tyler spoke again.

"And I kind of figured that you might want hear the entire song this time. You do want to hear it, right?"

I chuckled grabbing a stray folding chair and sat in front of him. "Of course I do. It's been stuck in my head since the first time I heard it."

"Well, I'll play it for you until it finally gets out then." He tells me with a grin and turned on his keyboard.

A second later the melody I was beginning to grow familiar with met my ears. I watched Tyler intently, noticing that every now and then he would jerk a little. For some reason, I found his twitching oddly fascinating, but Tyler has always been so interesting to me. I would never let him know that though. I thought over what he had said about basically playing the song over and over until I was sick of it. Now I honestly hope that Tyler's song will stay stuck in my head, so I can keep hearing it forever. When the song came to an end he gave me a look that put me in mind of an expectant child waiting for approval.

I almost began to clap, but I abruptly put my hands back in my lap since I felt it would be silly. So I just commented, "That was absolutely wonderful."

"Well thank you." He replies modestly, but the smile he is sporting tells a different story. He was obviously ecstatic. "So I was wondering, would you want to go with me to my birthday dinner?"

I shuffled around in my seat and wrung my hands as I answered, "Do you think your family will be fine with me being there?"

"Of course they will be, either way, it's my birthday and I can do what I want." He informs me with a smug grin.

I bite the inside of my cheek before saying, "Alright, when are we leaving?"

I watched him pull out his phone to check the time murmuring, "I guess we could head out now."

A moment later we went back upstairs and I was a bit stunned to find someone I had never seen before stepping out of the kitchen.

"Zack, what are you doing here?" Tyler questions from behind me.

"Not much broseph, I didn't expect you to still be here. So who's this?"

Tyler moves to stand beside me saying, "This is Ashley."

Zack's eyebrows shot up and a smile took over his features, "Really? Well, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Tyler's brother Zack."

From his statement, I gathered that Tyler had mentioned me to his brother at some point. Now I couldn't stop wonder what was said. I decided to brush aside my thoughts for the time being and shook the hand Zack extended to me saying, "It's good to meet you too."

"So, do you guys want to just ride with me since we're all going to the same place?"

"Sure." Tyler and I replied at the same time.

That only making Zack's grin wider, "Okay, let's go."

Outside there was another guy sitting in the passenger seat of the car that I assume is Zack's. He waved at us enthusiastically as Tyler remarked, "Jay's with you? I'm starting to feel like you guys are up to something."

Zack shrugged, "Maybe we are."

Tyler rolled his eyes muttering, "Oh great."

Zack only chuckled and hurried to get behind the wheel while Tyler and I got in the back right after.

"Sup birthday boy?" Jay asked turning around to high five Tyler and then immediately moved his focus to me, "You're Ashley, right?"

It was hard to miss the glare Tyler sent his way despite the shock I was feeling. Tyler had talked about me to both of his brothers.

I did my best to keep my voice steady as I answered him, "Um, yeah that's me."

Jay smirked, "It's nice to be able to put a name to a face at last."

Tyler looked like he was ready to jump out of the car even though we were driving now and it was clear that Jay was getting a kick out of all of this. I don't know if Jay was joking or not, but his words still got me thinking about what might have been said. I contemplated over it the whole ride to the restaurant, why would Tyler bring me up? Was it possible that he might like me too?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Oh, Miss Believer by Twenty One Pilots

When we finally made it to the restaurant I felt like I had been friends with these three brothers for years. Their dry deadpan humor had my stomach aching from laughing so hard and it kept on as we got out of the car. Tyler and Zack were still in the middle of singing 'Beauty and the Beast' while Jay and I nearly died from chuckling, despite the low volume of the rest of the building. Almost every person there was looking at us with expressions that ranged from amused to irritated. I took note of the fact Tyler had to pull up an extra chair for me, which let me know that the other's hadn't expected me.

Chris appeared delighted to see me as he spoke, "Ashley! It's so nice of you to join us."

"I'm glad Tyler invited me along." I tell him a semi-soft voice since I was feeling on edge. 

I sat down between Tyler and his mother, seeing that it was the only empty seat left. I could pretty much feel the tension radiating off of Kelly. Thankfully the waiter showed up and started passing out menus before I had a chance to say anything to her. 

"I've never even heard of half of this stuff." Jay mumbled.

"I'm fairly certain that this entire selection is meant to poison." Zack pointed out making me and all the other guys chuckle. He cleared his throat to continue, "So Ash, our dad told me and Jay that you and Tyler performed in the festival today. How did that go?"

"Great actually." I tell him setting down my menu since I found what I wanted, something really cheap.

Jay jumped in after that, "We would have been there, but the traffic in the city was awful."

I waved it off, "It's cool."

"So can you play anything else?"

Kelly cut in after that, "Boys, this dinner is supposed to be about your brother. Why don't you ask about him instead?"

Zack and Jay exchanged confused glances, but the waiter apparently had a sixth sense about when things were getting uncomfortable and he came back to give out the drinks. As soon as he got everyone's order the atmosphere was right back over everyone like a dense fog. 

Since no one was speaking at this point, Kelly decided to, "So Tyler, how is Jamie doing? I haven't seen her around you very much lately, did something happen?"

Tyler had been in the middle of chewing on a breadstick, but quickly stopped at the mention of Jamie. He swallowed before speaking, "No, I've just been busy with other things lately."

"You really should bring her over again soon, she's such a sweet girl and she seems like she really likes you."

I had a strange hunch that her remark was somehow meant to hurt me, but I stayed silent despite my notion. 

Zack turned his attention to Tyler questioning, "Have you told Ashley about the show yet?"

With his jaw clenched tight, Tyler shook his head no.

"Can I do it then?" 

Tyler shrugged and remained silent, something that didn't go unnoticed by me. Tyler was a quiet guy, but I could tell that there was more to this. 

Zack looked over at me, "So Tyler and his band are going to be doing their first concert next week. Would you want to come to watch?"

The thought of hearing Tyler sing made my pulse pick up like usual, but I stayed level headed as I said, "Yeah, sure. It sounds fun."

"Awesome! You can ride to the venue with us if you want to." Zack tells me looking more excited by the second. 

"Are you sure you'll have enough room?" Kelly questioned. 

"Totally, if we have to she can just sit in Tyler's lap and they can share a seatbelt." He teases, grinning at me and his brother while wiggling his eyebrows.

Kelly took a sip of her tea and shook her head, "I don't think that would be a good idea. Jamie would probably not like the idea of that."

Jay rose an eyebrow questioning, "So? It's not like they're dating." 

"It's not like that's the girl he even likes anyway." Chris adds in with a hushed voice. 

"Don't encourage them." Kelly scolds her husband, but he looks like he's still having a laugh anyway. "Jamie never made you all behave this way."

"Yeah, because none of us really liked her." Jay claimed while fighting off giggles. 

"She's better than this girl." Kelly muttered under her breath just loud enough for me to hear, but apparently, Tyler did too.

"Really mom?" Tyler asked and the tone he used made everyone else pause.

At this point, she wasn't even trying to mask her annoyance. "What?"

Tyler had such a fierce look in his dark brown eyes that I could only wonder what was about to come out of his mouth. "Why are you always so rude to Ashley? She hasn't done anything to deserve it."

"Tyler, do you have any clue what her family did?"

Tyler rushed to answer her, "You mean what her dad did? Do you think anyone would allow their family to be torn apart like that? She had nothing to do with that and if that's the only fault you can find with her then you now know that it's not right."

"It's not just that, she's clearly changing you."

"Is that really a bad thing?" Tyler asked and let out a strangled laugh, "You know what? I'm just going to leave."

Before anyone could say a word Tyler grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat. I hurried to keep up with him as he started to run out of the restaurant since they had started calling after him. I was surprised to find that the world outside had gained a thin white blanket from the time we had been inside.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I stumbled to keep up with him since he still had a hold of me.

He loosened up his grip saying, "I guess to the church to get your car since it's the closest."

"Would you mind explaining any of that to me?"

He let out a sigh that produced a cloud of warm air, "She was trying to make you jealous by bringing up Jamie and it was starting to get on my nerves. My mom seems to be under the impression that you have feelings for me."

I let out a broken laugh, "Okay, so did you and Jamie have a thing together?"

"Yes and no. We've been friends for a while and it took me some time to figure out that she liked me, but it just wasn't there for me. When I told that she stopped talking to me for weeks, but she came up to me one day and apologized. That was actually right after I had first started talking to you."

"Oh great, now they all think I stole you from her or something." I mutter starring off into the night in front of us. 

"You can't steal something that didn't belong to someone else in the first place." He says before quickly asking, "Are you cold?"

I had been rubbing my arms rapidly, but I halted at his question. "A little bit."

Wordlessly he removed his coat and placed it on my shoulders.

I quickly grabbed it so that it wouldn't hit the snowy road beneath us and rushed to say, "Tyler you don't need to give me this, we're almost to my car anyway."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one shaking like a leaf."

As soon as I put on the clothing I felt like I was receiving a warm hug from the boy beside me. His scent radiated off the fabric, making me softly smile. "Thank you."

I had actually begun to get warm as we approach our church. Tyler picked up his pace saying, "Let's hurry up and get in the car, it's freezing out here."

Right then the snowfall began to come down in thick flakes and I glanced over at Tyler to see that his hair and eyelashes were getting covered, making him almost sparkle in the street lights. I wanted nothing more than to pull him over to me and kiss him, but I resisted the urge. I didn't deserve someone like him, he was much too good for me. I can't help but feel like I'm making more of a mess of him than I am helping.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> After You by Meg Myers

"What exactly did your mom mean by saying that I'm changing you?" I asked as we sat in the car, waiting for it to heat up a bit. 

I watched Tyler shift around in his seat before speaking, "I've just been making a lot of decisions as of late that she doesn't agree with."

"Like what?"

"Well, I dropped out of college for one thing..." 

"Tyler that's some serious money! Why would you do that?" I demanded in disbelief. 

"I know, that's why I finished this semester and I just didn't sign up for the next one." He reassures me. 

"Okay, that's better than what I was first thinking."

"Yeah, you don't have to worry. I've been thinking it through for a while now and I have decided that I want to solely focus on making music."

I was surprised at his words and I could tell that this was something he truly wanted, so I said, "That's actually an amazing idea."

He grinned at my words, "Thanks, Ashley."

I figured that the car was warm enough for us to head out and as I put it in drive I asked, "So, do you want to go to my house for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure."

Halfway there I voiced something that had been on my mind since we left the restaurant, "You know, I don't see how you're dad and brother's even liked me."

He gave me a puzzled look, "Why do you say that?"

I shrugged slightly, "I felt like I didn't fit into all of that. I don't know, I'm just different."

I could picture him smiling as he says, "I've noticed."

I whipped my head in his direction, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He laughed when he saw the look on my face, "It's a good thing, I promise."

When we step inside my house it ends up being my turn to laugh when in the quiet I heard Tyler's stomach growl. "Are you hungry or something?"

"Not really." He replies with sarcasm heavy in his tone.

"Okay, just hang out in here and you can watch TV or something." I tell him as I leave him in the living room. 

He followed me to the kitchen as he asked, "What are you doing?"

"I feel like all that back there was my fault and making sure that you have a birthday dinner is the least I can do." I tell him with a shrug as I search for something to make.

"You don't have to do that, besides none of that was your doing."

"Well I'm starving, so I'm going to cook anyway." 

"Can I at least help?"

"Sure, let's get to it."

I watched him head straight for the fridge asking, "Was there anything in particular that you wanted to make?"

I thought about it for a minute before suggesting, "We have the ingredients to make tacos or burritos, we could do that."

"That'll be great!" He cheers with a grin.

I rose an eyebrow at his excitement asking, "Are you a big fan of Mexican food?"

"Sort of, I'm a fan of Taco Bell more than anything authentic." 

I laughed, "Okay, well let's get to work."

We got out all the necessary things needed and I handed him the package of hamburger, deciding to let him take care of that.

"So, what do you want me to do?" He questioned, sounding a bit hesitant. 

I scooped up all the vegetables to rinse them explaining, "Just brown the meat."

For a second he appeared as if I had just spoken a foreign language before dropping the expression and stepped over to the sink to wash his hands. He grabbed the drying towel before heading over to the stove and I put my focus back on the veggies. I moved to the cutting board and began chopping up the washed vegetables, but a strange smell quickly caught my attention. I glanced over at Tyler and nearly screamed at what I saw. 

"Tyler! The towel's on fire!" I cried as I rushed to fill a glass with water and dumped it on the flames, thankfully snuffing it out. "What even happened?" 

"I... I don't know." He stammers obviously freaked out. 

I then noticed that the back left burner was on instead of the one with the raw meat and the corner of the towel Tyler had used earlier was resting against it. I instantly put two and two together and knew that's what started the small fire. As soon as I figured that out I explained it to Tyler.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Ash." He apologizes while giving me a somewhat pleading expression.

"It's alright, it was an honest mistake," I reassure him quickly correct the stove dials. "You don't cook often though, do you?" 

He shook his head no, clearly embarrassed about it.

"If you want I can work with the stove and you could cut the vegetables. Sound good?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I think I can handle that much."

"Okay, just please, please don't cut off a finger or something." I caution jokingly. 

He rolled his eyes chuckling, "I'll do my best."

After that I hurried to get everything done because my mouth was watering from the delicious smells around me. So it was such a relief when everything was finally finished. 

I turned off the stove and announced, "Now we can finally eat!"

"It's about time." He remarked as he gave me a high five.

I laughed and questioned, "Are you in a rush?" 

"At this point yes." He tells me and picks up the plates I had left on the counter to fix his food.

As I watched him swiftly build his burrito I murmured, "I can see that."

He seemed to be in deep thought for a moment before he smiled slightly saying, "Speaking of seeing, are your eyes blue or gray? Because I can never tell." 

I giggled softly as I reached for my own plate telling him, "They are blue."

"Are you sure?" He asked with a now mischievous grin.

"Of course I am. I see them all the time."

"I'm jealous." He pouts putting down the plate in his hands and strides over to me until we were face to face. 

"Why? Because you don't have blue eyes?" I asked in a teasing tone, doing my best to hide how nervous his closeness made me. 

He shook his head speaking in a low voice, "No, it's because I wish I could look into yours all the time the way you get to."

My surprise at his words made me speechless and Tyler's hands were suddenly gently placed on my waist. I saw that his gaze was focused on my lips and we seemed to have an almost gravitational pull to each other as I leaned up and he lowered his head towards mine.

"Ashley, are you home? Why does it smell like you burnt something?" My mom asks loudly from the front door and her voice startles me away from Tyler.

I tried to not trip over my own feet or stutter as I went to face her, "H-hey, um Tyler and I were cooking and I accidentally sat a towel too close to the burner."

I internally scolded myself for stammering and I decided it would be better to say that it was my fault instead of his. It certainly wouldn't make a good impression on her and I really wanted her to like him. I hoped that she believed me because I was still a bit scatterbrained from what had almost happened only seconds ago. I couldn't stop wondering now, was I nearly kissed by Tyler?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Read My Mind by The Killers

 

My mom rose an eyebrow at me as she removed her coat and hung it on the rack, "Who's Tyler?"

Right on queue, he stepped into the living room, greeting her with a smile, "Hi ma'am, it's nice to finally meet you."

She looked him over a moment and whatever she saw in him pleased her as she returned the smile. "It's nice to meet you too and you can call me Sheila, dear. Listen you two, I hate to do this, but I have someone stopping by soon. Would you mind just hanging out upstairs?"

"Sure thing." I agreed with a nod and hurried back into the kitchen to finish fixing my meal.

"Who's coming over?" He softly asks, seeming to be aware of the now slight sourness to my mood.

I let out a quiet breath, "Her boyfriend."

"Do you not like him?"

"I'm fine with him. I just hate that she acts so secretive about it. They've been together for almost a year now and she still seems to think that I don't know about it."

"Why would she even do that?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure."

He gave me a half smile saying, "Come on, let's go eat."

When we finally settled in upstairs I grabbed my laptop and set it up on my desk so we could watch YouTube as we ate. I decided to pick Fall Out Boy before reaching for my burrito. By the end of our meal, I felt compelled to actually apologize for earlier, "I'm sorry that I basically ruined your birthday."

His eyebrows shot up as he waved off my words, "You need to stop telling you're sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, this has been one of the most interesting birthdays I've had in years. The last one had a bounce house, so this one is a close second."

I laughed at that, "Seriously? Almost as good as a bouncy house? That's cutting it a bit close in my opinion."

He shrugged lightly with a grin, "It's all about perspective really."

"Well, I'll take your word for it." I say as I get up from the bed to set our now empty plates on the dresser, choosing to deal with them later. As I flopped down on my back onto the mattress I watched Tyler type in 'The Killers – Read My Mind.' When the song began playing Tyler moved to lay on his side next to me.

"So what do you want to do now?" I asked in a hushed voice, sensing that I should be quieter.

He appeared to be lost in thought as he looked down at me. He was clearly torn over something as he spoke, "You're going to hate me, but I should probably be heading home."

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was already 11:44 at night. He was right, it was getting a bit late. I sat up telling him, "Okay, well let's get you back where you belong."

We gathered our dishes and crept down the stairs, finding the place empty. I noticed my mom sitting out on the back porch with Noah, laughing at something he must have said. I smiled softly to myself before putting the dirty plates in the sink.

As soon as I opened the front door I dreaded going back out into the cold, but none the less I followed Tyler to my car. Right when we got in I caught a glimpse of the gifts I almost forgot to give him.

"Before we go..." I say as I reach behind me for the presents. "These are for you."

He takes the boxes from me with a look of pleasant surprise saying, "You didn't have to get me anything, the dinner was more than enough."

I shrugged, "I wanted to and besides the cooking thing was definitely not in my plan."

He chuckled and picked up the smaller box, opening it, "Are these my CD's?"

"Some of them, they were the only ones I could remember off the top of my head."

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" He exclaims with a bright smile.

"Go on and open the other one." I urge him, having a mixture of excitement and fear in my chest.

I watched his jaw drop as he unwrapped the next package and then took the ukulele out of its box. "I can't believe you bought me this."

"I hope it's not too much."

"It's not, but you didn't have to get me this."

"Well, I did. Josh said that you played it whenever you guys went into the music store, so I figured you should have it. So, happy 20th birthday Tyler."

He wordlessly brought me in for a tight hug as a thank you. When he finally released me and I drove him to his house I was confused to see all three of his siblings out in the front yard. I pulled in the driveway and that's when I noticed Jamie was there too.

Tyler's sigh pulled my attention over to him as he muttered, "I knew they had been up to something."

"Like a surprise?"

"I guess so; do you want to come to find out with me?"

Part of me wanted to agree, no questions asked. On the other hand, after everything that happened today I've had more than my fill of excitement and drama for the moment. Even though I don't trust Jamie around him after all that I know about her, I do trust Tyler. That thought alone worried me, it's not like Tyler is mine to any degree and yet I was leery that she might take him from me somehow.

I made my decision quickly and shook my head no, "I'm just going to head back, today has been tiring."

"Okay."He says with a small smile and then put me in awe right before he got out by pressing a kiss on my cheek, "I'll see you later."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> St. Patrick by PVRIS

I've come to notice that I spend a lot of my time thinking of my days in two ways, when I'm with Tyler and when I'm not. For whatever reason, after Tyler's birthday, the latter seemed to be the one that occurred the most often. I couldn't stop myself from worrying that it had something to do with what happened at my house. Did he regret almost kissing me? Was that what he had been doing at all?

I did my best to stay busy, even though I thought about calling him countless times. I just felt like I should give him space. If he wanted to get a hold of me he had plenty of ways to do so. When I wasn't at church or school I sat in my room, playing my ukulele. Making up silly songs about him, feeling ridiculous that I couldn't just go talk to him. My anxiety was a wonderfully evil creature.

Yet again I laid on my bed in the sunset's glow, strumming my uke as I hummed. I started to doze off and I suddenly woke back up a bit later, thinking that I had heard the doorbell ring. All I could hear was my mother's voice faintly from downstairs. I shut my eyes again, not even bothering to move my instrument from my stomach as I sank back into sleep.

I was awoken again by a pressure causing my bed to sink slightly and then a hand gently took mine. I opened my eyes as soon as Tyler murmured, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while."

My voice is still filled with sleep as I said, "Sorry."

He smiled softly telling me, "It's alright. Scoot over."

I did as he told and I sat my ukulele on the floor on my side of the bed as Tyler laid down next to me, his body chilled from the outside. I grabbed my phone to check the time and saw that it was four in the afternoon. When I shut it off I noticed Tyler's reflection in my phone as he peered over at me.

I turned to him slightly asking, "Can I take your picture?"

He grinned slightly saying, "Only if you take it with me."

"Deal." I say and get the camera on my phone ready.

Tyler leaned his head into my shoulder as we smiled up at the camera and I took the shot.

When I pulled the photo up to look at it Tyler made the remark, "I hate my smile."

I rose an eyebrow at him, "Why? You have a lovely smile."

He seemed to try to resist smiling at that as he rolled his eyes at me. "Whatever you say. Hey, do you want to go somewhere?"

Without hesitation, I said, "Sure."

We both sat up and I got off the bed to put my ukulele in its proper place and grabbed my black coat while Tyler waited by the door.

On our way downstairs I asked, "So where are we going?"

He shrugged and held the front door open for me as I said a quick goodbye to my mom. "For a drive I guess."

I simply nodded and made my way to his car. I was glad that it wasn't freezing inside and as soon as Tyler started the car he put the heat on full blast. I was glad to hear that he had been listening to one of the CD's I had given him and as we drove he softly sang along. We drove for a while until the roads got more and more wooded. I noticed a sign as we crossed a small bridge since I found the name amusing.

"Little Sugar Creek. That's cute." I remarked.

Tyler saw it right as we passed it and I was sort of surprised when he pulled the car over on the side of the road and suggested, "We should go explore it."

Something about the expression on his face had me agreeing even though I knew that it was cold outside. On our way down the embankment, I took in the sights of the snow covering the bare trees and the edges of the stream. I noticed how quiet it was out here, the only sound I could hear was the water flow next to us.

"It's beautiful here." I murmur as I continued to gaze around, doing my best to keep moving so I could stay warm.

Suddenly Tyler was next to me and instantly my entire being seemed to blush as his fingers slid between mine. Despite my nervousness, I held onto his hand and he returned the gesture. I was dying to ask him if he felt this too, this jittery feeling whenever we touched, talked, or even looked at each other. Was he as scared as I was, but at the same time so hopeful and excited? Was I putting too much thought into this? And since I couldn't make sense of my jumbled thoughts I decided that it was better to just stay silent and enjoy the moment.

We walked around until it began to get much darker and he pointed out that we should probably go. On the drive back Tyler grabbed my hand yet again, sending my brain into a jumble and my heart pounded so hard that it actually hurt. I kept glancing over at Tyler since his gaze nearly always remained on the road in front of him. As I watched him, something that should have been glaringly obvious came to my mind.

I always had a feeling that it might happen and it seemed that no matter how much I drug my heels against the pull of my emotions, in the end, I had lost. I wasn't really sure if it could be considered a bad thing, but all and all the feeling itself was absolutely wonderful. I knew that it would probably bring nothing but trouble, but here it was as plain as day. I was falling in love with Tyler.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Kitchen Sink by Twenty One Pilots

As I stared at the photo of me and Tyler on my bed, I noticed something about him that I hadn't before. It's funny how sometimes we see something about a person so often that it doesn't really register in our minds. Then one day it hits you again, that there's something that they constantly say, do, or wear. That there is a part of them that has been there the whole time, hidden in plain sight. I had finally taken note of the fact that he has very faint scarring on his upper arms, mostly near his wrists. I didn't want to jump to conclusions on what they could be from, but that didn't stop the sickening feeling I got in my stomach.

I slid my phone in my pocket and headed downstairs to my car. Worry flooded my every thought, was Tyler not as okay as he'd like everyone else to believe? He did have some odd behavioral patterns that he would disregard if anyone mentioned them. On my drive to church, I thought about the time I found him in the woods in his backyard or the way he twitched sometimes when he played music. Were those things that I should look more into or were they just little quirks that made Tyler who he is?

Once I was in the Sunday school room I saw that Marceline had just finished writing a bible verse on the whiteboard. She smiled brightly when she saw me and rushed over to her desk to pick up some papers.

She placed them in my hands informing me, "Your transfer paperwork finally decided to show up. Are you sure that you still want to leave?"

I had actually managed to forget that I had asked for them a while back, my life had taken a bit of a turn since I put in that request. I had finally gotten enough experience as a teacher at this church to be allowed to look elsewhere for work. Here I worked as Marceline's apprentice basically and as much as I had been enjoying it I had wanted to branch out on my own. In my mind, it had been another foot out the door of this place. Another way I could leave my hometown in the dark of my memories.

Now things felt quite different, now I had a reason to stay. Right as I went put them down and tell her that I wasn't going through with it, after all, someone else cleared their throat as they peered in the room.

Marceline and I both turned to see Tyler standing there and I swiftly noticed a strange far off look in his eyes when they met mine. His voice sounded odd too. "Um, sorry to interrupt, but Ash could you meet me at my house after church?"

I nodded, "Yeah, okay."

"See you then." He says softly and just like that he disappeared again.

"Is he alright?" Marceline whispered as she gave me a curious look.

I decided it was better not to draw attention to my fretting and said, "Yeah, I think so."

"So, are you staying here or are you really leaving?" She asked again since I hadn't had a chance to answer her yet.

"I've decided to stay."

An amused smile sprung up on her face, "Really? That's wonderful! But what made you change your mind?"

I shrugged as the kids finally began filling the room, hoping that the topic would be dropped since the class was getting ready to start.

"It's because of Tyler, isn't it?" She questioned with excitement in her eyes.

I decided then to give her what she wanted by mumbling, "Maybe."

"Aw, that's so sweet!" She cheered giving me a quick hug and then went right into teaching mode after that. I could only grin as I moved to tend to passing out the work supplies.

***

Once church was over I headed straight for Tyler's house. I pulled into the driveway, noticing that only Tyler's car occupied it. He opened the door with a small smile on his face.

I wasn't used to his house being this empty, so I asked about it, "Where is everybody else?"

He shrugged, "Out."

I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. "Is everything alright?"

I followed him to the kitchen and instead of answering my question he said, "You know when I talked to Jamie the other night she told me some things that I wanted to ask you about."

Dread tightly gripped me as I questioned, "What did she say?"

"I didn't believe a word she said to me at first, but now the more I think about it, the more it does make sense."

I rose an eyebrow, "What makes sense?"

"I guess I was just ignoring it at first because I really like you and I wanted to think that my worries were pointless, but I just don't know now." He continued, he seemed to not even be talking to me at this point. It was like he was thinking out loud.

"Tyler, what are you talking about?"

His breaths became raspy and swift as he gripped his hands onto the sink. As I slowly inched closer to him I saw that he had begun shaking and tears rimmed his eyes.

I gently placed my hand on his shoulder softly asking, "Tyler, please tell me what's wrong."

His hand shakily reached out to me and I took it, turning his palm up towards me. I caught sight of the scars faintly littering his tan skin and as soon as he realized what I was looking at he yanked his hand away.

In a tear-filled voice, he shouted, "Go away!"

I nearly tripped over my own feet at the volume of his voice. "Tyler, why...?"

"Leave me alone!" He cried as he curled in on himself, tears streaming freely down his face now. "Go away! Just leave me alone!"

But I couldn't, no matter how much he yelled at me and pushed me away I wasn't going to leave him like this. I waited for him to finally calm down, his panting died down and he looked so tired. I helped him to his feet and guided him up the stairs to his room. I helped him into his bed wordlessly, unable to meet his eyes.

I decided that it was time for me to leave so I murmured, "Goodbye Tyler."

I could've sworn as I made my way downstairs that he said, "Don't leave me alone."

But I knew that I had to, no matter how much it hurt.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Never Be Like You by Flume featuring Kai

I don't really remember much about my drive home from Tyler's. I recall softly sobbing as I did my best to keep the steering wheel steady and then after that, I just felt myself falling into my mattress. I buried my face in my comforter, finding none there. I still couldn't fully grasp what had happened moments ago. I still didn't have any clue as to why Tyler was so mad at me, but right then I didn't want to try.

Tyler clearly had more going on in his mind than I had been aware of and probably because he didn't want me to know. I had been prying at that boy so hard that all he could do was snap shut on me when I got too close. What had I been trying to find in him anyway? A reason to stay here in Ohio? To feel like I wasn't a total outcast among a large part of the community?

I furiously wiped my still crying eyes and shook my head at my thoughts. No, I hadn't meant to find anything in Tyler and then I somehow found everything. I had a feeling what Jamie might have said to him, but I couldn't find the will in me to fix it. Not in this moment.

Maybe I should just let Tyler hate me, I just keep causing him problems and making things harder on him. It might just be better that I left him alone. Why did I have to figure this out after I began to realize I was falling for him?

I took in a deep breath and laid there until the darkness of the night enveloped me. Somewhere along the way, I managed to drift into sleep.

***

I considered not going to church, planning to just call Marceline and say that I didn't feel well. I ended up deciding against it, figuring that I could just avoid Tyler. I made sure that I looked as normal as possible, even though I was now basically a walking rain cloud. I stood in front of my mirror, practicing on making my smile as convincing as I could.

I gave up and just went about the rest of my routine. When I made to the church my hands shook as my heart raced thanks to my anxiety being kicked into overdrive. I wasted no time getting into the Sunday school room and began busying myself. I picked up the lesson plan sheet and there were notes about everyone needing markers.

I grabbed the marker bin off the top of the bookshelf and popped off the lid. I began placing them on the tables, one for each student. A blue marker's lid accidentally slipped off and left a dark streak on my palm and fingers. It instantly made me recall when Tyler had written his number on my hand in this color. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and I did my best to blink them back.

"You can stop your little show now." A sharp voice snapped at me and I flicked my gaze up to see Jamie as she stood in the doorway.

I felt my jaw clench at the sight of her and forced my voice to be steady as I spoke, "It isn't a show, I don't have to lie to people like you do."

She gave me an amused smirk saying, "If you're talking about what I think you are, I'll have you know that I didn't lie to your little crush. I told him the truth. Carly suggested that you get close to him so people would treat you better. If you guys had a relationship the church members wouldn't blame you as much for what your father did. None of it was a lie."

"But I told her that I wouldn't do that to someone."

Her smile widened, "I guess I didn't hear that part. Oh and then there was the fact you were going to leave as soon as it was all cleared up."

I immediately understood why Tyler had looked so strange the day I had gotten my transfer papers, he thought that what Jamie was saying was true. That I was using him and then I was going to make a run for it.

"See you did it all on your own Ash." She pointed out with glee in her tone and I wanted nothing more than to smack that smile off of her face.

I gave her a look of utter disbelief as I questioned, "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm just taking back what's mine." She states like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"He was never your's, Jamie! He's a person, not a prize! You can't be pulling someone like him into a game like that. I don't think he can mentally handle it."

She shrugged, "I'll take care of him."

Rage rattled my mind, but I kept my control over it. So I just said, "Fine."

Her expression seemed to falter, she appeared confused now. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly what I just said, fine. Do what you want. Clearly, no one else that's around him wants me near him. I clearly do more damage to him than good. So there, you all get what you want. Now leave me be."

"Are you still transferring to another church?"

"Why would it matter now? But no, I'm staying right here and it was for all the wrong reasons apparently."

Jamie looked uncomfortable now and I choose then to just turn my back on her while continuing my work. I glanced over my shoulder a moment later to see that she was gone, but just at the corner, I saw Tyler's sister Madison watching me.

When our eyes made contact she quickly disappeared once more. I sighed heavily, feeling as if I had made a mistake in deciding to come here today. Despite that, I continued just to do what I was supposed to and for the service I sat in the back, wishing something could make me disappear as Jamie sat with Tyler and his family.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song:
> 
> Time to Say Goodbye by Twenty One Pilots

I've always been used to Josh's first reaction to seeing me at his job was to hug me, but I noticed that this one lasted longer than usual.

"I'm guessing you know what happened." I murmured as I returned the embrace.

He nodded against my shoulder and then let me go asking, "How are you doing?"

I gave him the best smile I could muster and said, "I'm fine."

"You're lying." He instantly argues.

"Believe me, I'm fine." I insist.

Josh shook his head, "I know you better than that. Please just tell me what happened, because Tyler is too vague about it."

"There's nothing to explain. Jamie lied to Tyler about me and he believed her. I've just decided to stay out of it."

"Since when have you ever done something like that? That's how you met Tyler in the first place."

I shrugged, "I guess I'm starting now. They all seem so convinced that I'm bad for him and I think they might have a point. You should have seen him, Josh, he was so torn up and it was all my fault."

"Ash, are you hearing yourself correctly? The only person that truly wants you away from him is Jamie and you're letting her win!" Josh cried out, shaking my shoulders.

I sent him a pleading look confessing, "But I don't know what to do to fix it."

"Don't worry, I'll help you. I'll try to talk some sense into him and you two will go back to being my favorite couple."

My eyes widened at that and I shoved Josh slightly exclaiming, "We were never together!"

He chuckled, "But you almost were. Don't think Tyler doesn't tell me what goes on between you two. Not to mention the stuff he doesn't tell you..."

"What stuff?"

Josh wiggled his eyebrows teasing, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I rolled my eyes, sarcastically mumbling, "Well aren't you helpful."

Josh smiled at me before it quickly changed to a look of realization. "You haven't heard Tyler's new song, have you?"

"I've actually only heard one song; it was called Falling Too."

"You might want to listen to this then." He tells me, handing me his phone as he rushed off to tend to someone waiting at the register.

I gazed down at the screen reading the title 'Time to Say Goodbye' as it drifted along. I pressed play and held the cellphone up to my ear.

"It's time to say goodbye to the earth and now my worthless life. Cause everything I've ever made is dead now. Inside the grave." His voice spoke over the music and I was doing my best to fight back tears.

He was clearly so much worse than I had ever thought.

Josh slowly approached me murmuring, "I'm worried too."

"Josh, you would know better than I do. How has he been acting?"

I could see the worry deep in Josh's eyes as he tells me, "He tries to make it seem like he's okay, but it's becoming clear that it's not the case."

A tear slid down my cheek as I considered what that could mean. Josh pulled me into another hug as I softly asked, "What do we do?"

"I wish I knew Ash."

***

I decided it was a better idea to just skip out on going to the chapel today. I don't think I'll be able to keep my cool around Tyler after what Josh had let me hear a few days ago. I remained in the Sunday school room, making sure that it was pretty much spotless. I continued to sweep the floor as I listened to the people leave, planning to slip out after everyone else was gone.

A female voice startled me from behind the door for how close the person clearly was. I heard them say, "Yeah, I'll catch up with you all later."

When it was quiet again I went back to tidying up with my back to the door.

The door then creaked open and I heard the same female voice speak, "Ashley, do you have a minute?"

I whipped around to see Madison standing in the doorway and I had to admit that I was a little shocked that she was speaking to me. None the less I tell her, "Yeah, I'm finishing up with this."

She nodded and shut the door behind her and took a seat in one of the small chairs at the table closest to me. She took a deep breath before beginning to talk, "I'm not really sure what happened between you and my brother, but whatever it was I want to help you both fix it. All I'm certain of is it has something to do with Jamie, doesn't it?"

I nodded and quickly finished sweeping up the dust and got everything in order. I sat down across from her and only said, "It does."

She nodded thoughtfully, "I figured that much, and after hearing what she said to you last Sunday I knew there was something screwy going on with her. Then that's when I remembered that on Tyler's birthday she kept telling him things that I didn't hear that well, something about him being used. She said that he was being lied to. Now it all makes sense."

"I would never..."

"Lie to my brother? I wanted to make sure that was true, so I talked to Marceline about you leaving. She told me that you had decided to stay because of Tyler and then I talked to Carly about you using him and she was so adamant that you weren't, that you truly liked him..."

"So what's your point?"

"I decided that I believe you because I know what kind of person Jamie is and what she would do to get what she wants." She explains and then tilts her head from side to side murmuring, "Also when you came into Tyler's life he became happier than I had seen him in such a long time. I would like for him to have that back."

I rose an eyebrow at that and in a voice that was nearly a whisper I asked, "I made him happy?"

She smiled slightly, "That's one of the things you did for him."


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Holding Onto You by Twenty One Pilots

"Why did I agree to this again?" I grumbled as I tugged at the sleeves of my black sweater as I turned to face Josh and Madison.

"Because it doesn't make sense for you and Tyler to be separated like this." Josh tells me as he holds the door open so we can all go out to Madison's car.

"So where is the concert hall?" I asked as I climbed into the back seat behind the driver's side.

Madison got behind the wheel before answering, "It's about twenty or so minutes from here."

During that ride, my mind wouldn't stop drifting back to the worries that I was doing my best to ignore. What if Tyler got one look at me and demanded that I leave? What if his mother would already beat him to it? Or what if Jamie was there to only make everything worse? I did all that I could to keep my thoughts positive and just focus on talking to Josh and Madison as we traveled to the venue. 

When we finally made it to the place, Josh had to basically beg me to get out of the car. He tried to reassure me that if anything went bad that he would be the one to take care of it. I mentally crossed my fingers that he could live up to his claim as I followed him inside. The place was dimly lit and as we made our way to the back I noticed that there was a small crowd standing around the stage, while nearly everyone else hung out near the bar. We found Madison standing near the backstage, waiting on us to catch up and I quickly noticed that she appeared stressed.

"Is everything alright?" Josh asked before I could.

She bit her lip momentarily and then explained, "Tyler seems like he's wanting to back out on performing."

I instantly feared that it was because I had shown up, but I still asked, "Do you have any idea why?"

"He said something about feeling like he didn't have the right stage presences..." She trailed off and then swiftly suggested, "How about you go try and talk him into it."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise at her words, "Why me?"

"I just figured that since he seemed so comfortable and in his element when you two performed at the festival, you could coax it back out of him."

I was about to argue against it when I paused, was she implying that I made Tyler comfortable with performing? I decided that I could question her about it later as I simply nodded and she lead us back to Tyler holding his head in his hands as he sat in the corner, with the other two other guys, Nick and Chris, standing on either side of him. They all looked frustrated, but I could tell that Tyler's emotions were more driven by anxiety. He barely glanced up at Madison, but his head snapped up as soon as he noticed me standing by her side.

A strange mixture of emotion crossed over his face before he spoke, "Ashley, what are you doing here?"

I cleared my throat, trying to rid the lump that had grown in it, "Madison invited me to come to watch your band."

He shook his head saying, "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think that's going to be happening."

I peered over at Madison as she gestured for the other three guys to leave the room with her, forcing Tyler and me to be alone together. I moved to kneel in front of him, attempting to meet his eyes at an odd angle. 

"And why is that?"

He sighed deeply, "I just feel like I'm not doing it right somehow. I don't know, I can't explain it."

"Well you should start off with what you think is wrong and try to work on that first, maybe the right way will show when you get rid of the wrongs."

His eyebrows twitched at that as he considered my suggestion. "I guess I could try to figure out how to appear less robotic when I perform."

I gave him a look of disbelief questioning, "When have you ever acted robotic? Every time I've seen you sing or play anything you have an energy coming off of you that I've never seen before. It's anything but robotic." 

Part of me regretted letting him know that I thought that way when I watched him, but it seemed to have the effect I was desiring.

A look of astonishment sprung up on his face as he blurted out, "That's it! I just have to pretend I'm in my basement..."

He trailed off before quietly finishing with, "Playing for you."

Before either of us could say a word his band members came back in the room wanting to know what was going to happen since they would need to go on stage in a few minutes. Tyler stood up from his seat declaring, "I'm ready."

Looks of relief flooded their features as they high fived Tyler and began getting their things together for the show. I gave Tyler a wave before hurrying off to the front to find Josh and Madison.

"He's going to do it." I inform them when I find them in front of the stage.

They both pulled me into a group hug.

"So are you two good again?" Josh asks when we let each other go.

I shrugged slightly, "I'm not exactly sure about that."

Suddenly the lights went down and they came out on stage, Tyler waved at us as he ran to sit behind his piano. A moment later several people crowded behind us and I felt fear ice my veins when I saw his mother stand on the other side of Madison, sending me a dirty look.

My attention is pulled back to the stage when Tyler speaks to the mic saying, "So, before we play our first song I'd like to thank someone that's here tonight. We've had a bit of a hard time here recently, but she's stuck by my side regardless of it. So, I dedicate this to my very best friend Ashley. This is 'Holding onto You'."

I felt Josh shake my shoulders as we both let out unnecessarily loud cheers.

"I'd say you two are more than good now." He says in my ear over the music.

All I can do is laugh and nod in agreement.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Fears by Twin Wild

Just when it seemed that things were calming back down, they became chaotic once more. Several weeks after Tyler's concert, Josh, Tyler, and I had been hanging out in Tyler's room. We were all being relatively quiet, all three of us lying on Tyler's bed listening to some of Twenty One Pilots' music. I had been humming along to 'Slow Town' while I mindlessly played with Tyler's hair. Tyler glanced from me to Josh, probably trying to see if we liked the song as his head rested on my stomach. Josh was sprawled out over the top of both us as he drummed the air.

"Well don't you all look comfy," Madison remarked as she stepped in the room. She turned down the stereo a bit before handing the phone in her hand to her brother. "It's Nick and Chris."

"Sup guys?" Tyler asked into the receiver. After a minute or so of quiet, I heard him let out a tiny, "What?"

He quickly sat up after that, jarring both Josh and I. We gave Tyler concerned looks as his expression twisted into confusion as he questioned, "Why are you guys doing this?"

Josh turned off the music with the remote next to him as Tyler paused to listen to whatever his bandmates were telling him. His only response was, "Oh, okay. I understand. Yeah, talk to you later."

Tyler let the phone drop from his hand once he had ended the call. The look on his face worried me, what had they said to him?

I was thankful that Josh was the one to ask the question, "What was that about?"

"They said that they couldn't stay in the band, that they didn't have enough time for it." Tyler explains, his voice sounding hollowed out. 

"What?" Josh and I both asked in disbelief.

Tyler shook his head muttering, "I knew I shouldn't have kidded myself that I could make this band thing happen."

"Hey, don't say that. Why don't you and Josh make music together instead?" I suggest doing my best to not let him get too upset.

"Since when has a band just had two people?" He questions turning his solemn gaze in my direction.

"We could make it work." Josh pipes up.

Tyler only shrugs and before Josh can say anything else, his phone rings. Unfortunately, Josh had to leave since his sister needed him to come to pick her up from a friend's. Before he left he gave Tyler a tight hug goodbye and then waved at me as he stepped out of the room. Now that Tyler and I were alone I was worried that I would have no way to help him. I moved so I could gently take his hand into mine. He surprised me slightly as he leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder. 

"What do I do now Ashley?" He asks barely above a whisper. 

I tilted my head down onto his murmuring, "I don't know, but we'll figure something out."

"You know, at times like this, I just want to run away from all of this. I just want to get in my car and drive south."

For some reason, I found the idea interesting, because I've had those thoughts plenty of times myself. "And where would you go?"

"I don't know, but I would bring you with me."

I felt my heart stutter at his words, but I did my best to play it cool. "Well, I would be more than happy to tag along then."

Tyler let out a soft laugh, "Thanks."

An idea popped up in my head and before I gave myself any time to consider backing out, I suggested, "Do you want to get out of here for a bit?"

"Sure." He says sitting up, "Where are we going?"

I stood up and grabbed my keys, "Where ever the road takes us."

I was so glad to see a smile on his face as he got to his feet saying, "Let's go."

On our way downstairs Tyler held a finger up to his lips as he grabbed my hand and snuck me to the front door as quietly as he could. His parents were in the kitchen talking to each other and as I peered at the clock on the wall I saw why he wanted to be quiet, it was nearly midnight. We hurried out to my car and I didn't waste any time getting out of the driveway. Once we were out of his neighborhood Tyler let out a cheer.

I laughed questioning, "Are you alright?"

He twitched slightly before saying, "Of course I am."

I frowned slightly as I stopped at a red light, reaching to place my hand on his knee murmuring, "Tyler, you know you're allowed to not be okay, right? You don't have to put on an act for my sake."

His smile faltered as he asked me, "What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me the truth, how do you feel right now?"

He lowered his eyes to his lap. "I really don't know how I feel, I'm sad about the other guys leaving, but after you suggested Josh I was excited. I felt so guilty for that and then I was so afraid because we'd only be a two-person band. Think about it, how often do you hear about bands that small making it?"

The light turned green and I began driving again as I answered, "It's perfectly fine to have mixed emotions about your band changing, but you never know what it could mean. It might end up being the best thing for Twenty One Pilots. Both you and Josh are fantastic musicians. So if you two do decide to work together, I'll be the first to say that I can't wait to hear the outcome." 

His smile had a much softer edge to it, showing that me that he was still a bit sad. We were quiet for a few minutes before Tyler uttered, "I'm so glad that I have you around."

I couldn't resist grinning at his statement agreeing, "So am I."

As the streetlights became few and far between I turned on the radio and Tyler was quick to move to find some music. When there was a pause between the songs he turned down the radio and cleared his throat, making me glance at him. He was rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, his eyes staring out into the darkness as he seemed to be thinking about something intently. 

"So, there's something that I've been wanting to tell you and I think that now is a good time to." He tells me, speaking in a measured voice like he was thinking his words carefully through.

"And what is that?"

He turned slightly in his seat towards me and swallowed thickly before saying, "I really like you, Ashley."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Edge of Tonight by All Time Low

"You do?" I ask in a small voice with wide eyes.

He nodded, "I just wanted you to know since you'll be leaving soon."

"Leaving? Tyler, I'm not going anywhere."

His eyebrows scrunched together as he asked, "Aren't you transferring churches for your Sunday school job? Didn't you say that once that happened you were going to leave?"

It then dawned me, I had forgotten to mention to him what I had ended up choosing. I shook my head slowly, "I turned it down."

Even though the car was dark I could see from the glow of the radio that Tyler's cheeks had gained a red tint. "Why'd you do that?"

I smiled softly, "I found a reason to stay."

He looked so surprised a wide grin took over his features. Before he could say a word his cellphone went off.

"Oh great, it's my mom." He groans and I reach to turn the radio down as he answered the call. "Hello?"

The car was so quiet now that I could hear her on the other end, "Where are you?"

"I'm out driving around."

"But your car is still in the driveway."

"I know, I'm in Ashley's car."

She let out an audible sigh, "You need to ask her to bring you home."

I noticed a slight edge to his voice as he asked, "How come?"

"Because you don't need to be out this late. You know how you get at night."

How he got at night? What did that even mean? I peered over at Tyler, seeing that he was obviously annoyed. His jaw dropped suddenly as he reached for the steering wheel, "Ashley, watch out!"

I snapped my head forward to see a rabbit frozen in fear in front of us. I jerked the car harshly to the left, causing us to slip into a deep ditch. On the way down, I heard a sharp knock on my right and I wasn't sure what had happened until my car came to a halt. Despite the pain in my neck and wrist, I turned to make sure that Tyler was okay, but I found him with his head down against his chest with his eyes shut.

"Tyler?" I questioned warily, but he didn't answer me or move at all. "Oh, no... Tyler?"

I reached over to touch his face and my hand came back bloody. Tears instantly filled my eyes and I could still hear his mother yelling from the phone on the floorboard.

I picked it up with shaking hands stuttering, "M-Mrs. Joseph? I think Tyler's been hurt."

"Why? What happened?" She demanded.

"There was an animal in the road and I swerved to miss it. We crashed into a ditch and I think Tyler hit his head on the window." I explain, doing my best keep my voice steady.

"Where are you?"

I told her the name of the road and she said that she was going to call an ambulance for him. After that, she hung up and I was left in the now deafening silence. I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted as close as I could to Tyler. I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head on his shoulder, being as gentle as I could.

"Tyler, please wake up," I begged as tears continued to spill onto the sleeve of his coat. "Don't be gone."

A small whine suddenly escaped him and his hand reached up to touch my arm. I let out a shuttering breath of relief as I lifted my head to look at him.

"Ash? What happened?" He asked in a weak voice.

"You hit your head and blacked out."

"For how long?" He questioned, sounding panicked.

"It was only for two minutes. Just calm down, your mom called you an ambulance."

"Are you okay?" He asks, clearly still feeling frantic.

"I'm fine, just a little sore."

He gave a small nod and leaned into me mumbling, "My head hurts."

I frowned as I lightly traced circles into his back, telling him, "I know, just try to take it easy until help gets here."

The sound of sirens finally met my ears and I told Tyler that I would be right back before easing myself out of the car. I climbed out of the ditch to be met with flashing lights and the ambulance pulled up in front of me before they came rushing out.

"Is there anyone else in the vehicle?" The female EMT questioned.

I nodded hastily and the other two EMT's made their way down the embankment to Tyler out.

"Miss, are you injured?" The woman standing beside me asked as I kept my eyes on Tyler as they put him on a stretcher.

"My neck and wrist are sore, but other than that I'm fine."

She nodded briskly, "You'll need to come with us then."

"Alright." I say as I follow her to the ambulance.

She led me to the passenger side, but I hesitated. I desperately wanted to stay with Tyler, I was still so worried about him.

She must have understood what I was doing because she tells me, "It would be better for the both of you if you rode up in the front."

I could feel my face fall at her words, but I understood none the less.

I reached for the door handle at the same time she let out a small sigh, "Head on back there, just do your best to keep out of the way."

I thanked her before hurrying to get in the back. The other EMT's just glanced at me as they checked Tyler's vitals. One of them got out to ride in the front and I winced when they turned on the sirens before driving off. I quickly called my mom to let her know what had happened and she naturally freaked out, saying that she would be at the hospital as soon as she could.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Tyler reached out to take my hand into his. I laced my fingers through his as I stared down at him. The right side of his face was streaked with blood and I could tell that he was still scared. When the male EMT that was in the back with us turned his attention to something on the small monitor facing away from us, I leaned over to place a tiny kiss on the uninjured side of Tyler's forehead. I saw him smile weakly and his grip on my hand tightened momentarily.

When we reached the hospital, they rushed to get us inside and the moment Tyler's fingers slipped from mine I spotted his mom standing in the waiting room. There was a sinking feeling in my chest when her eyes met mine, I knew that I had truly messed up this time.

The doctor quickly found out that I only had minor whiplash and a sprained wrist, while Tyler needed stitches. I was just glad that he didn't have a concussion or anything more serious, but my slightly lifted spirits didn't last too long. Even though Tyler had been put in a separate room I could still manage to hear his mom speak.

"Tyler, we need to have a serious discussion about Ashley. I think it would be better for your own sake to just stay away from her."

I was surprised to hear more than one gasp, other than my own, at her statement.

Tyler's voice sounded tired, but at the same time anxious, "What? Why?"

"Because look at you. You don't have a band now or college to fall back on. And now she's gotten you in the hospital." She explains and I could've sworn that it sounded like she was about to cry.

I found myself mentally begging and praying that Tyler wouldn't agree with what she was telling him. But before I could hear his response my mom burst in the room and I was shocked to see that her boyfriend Noah was with her.

"Ashley, are you alright?"

I held up my splint supported hand saying, "Yeah, it was nothing too major."

She hurried over to me to give me a hug that was slightly painful before asking, "Where's Tyler? Is he alright?"

"He's in the other room and as far as I know he just needed stitches." I explain as I became aware of the yelling outside of this room.

It was Tyler.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Unsteady by X Ambassadors

"No! I won't do it! I can't!" Tyler shouted.

"And why not?" Kelly demanded.

I rushed to my feet, ignoring my mom asking what I was up to. I leaned out of the door just so I could hear better. 

"Because... I need her."

My unharmed hand shot up to cover my mouth as I let out a gasp. I can't believe he actually said that to her. 

"Tyler, you don't need someone like her in your life. She will just make it a mess. Look at what she's already made you throw away."

"She's had nothing to do with what's been happening to me lately, most of it has been my choices. But I would throw it all away for her if I had to."

"Fine Tyler, if you feel that strongly about it then it's obvious that my feelings aren't important to you. So I think it's time for you to just go out on your own and see where your decisions take you."

"Are you kicking him out?" Madison questions sounding stunned. 

"He's clearly made up his mind on what he wants to do against logical reasoning, so he needs go live on his own."

It felt as if her words were a brick that had just been launched at my stomach. She couldn't just do that to him over me. I couldn't be the cause of ruining his life, so I know now that I have to remove myself from it; no matter how we both feel. 

"Ashley, where are you going?" My mom called as I made my way to Tyler's room. 

Zack was the first to notice me come in the room, "Ashley, are you okay?" 

I felt my knees tremble as everyone else's eyes turned to focus on me. I nodded to Zack before swallowing hard so I could speak, "You don't have to make him leave. I will."

Kelly rose an eyebrow at me asking, "What are you saying?"

"I'll leave Tyler and your family alone from now on, I hate what I've been doing to you all." I explain before training my gaze on Tyler's shocked face, "Goodbye."

The sound of struggle met my ears as I hurried back to my hospital room, telling my mom and Noah that I was ready to go. I did my best to tune out Tyler pleading for me to come back as we made our way to the parking lot. Every step I took was an effort, I didn't want to leave him behind, but what other choice did I have? My mom wrapped her arm around my shoulders as we made our way to her car, it was plain to see that I was on the verge of tears.

Suddenly I heard someone running up to me and I was surprised to see that it was Maddie. She looked distraught when she caught up to me begging, "Ashley, you can't leave like this. It'll kill him."

I shook my head, "He'll be okay, he's been without me before on his own accord. He can do it again."

"But you didn't see how he got during that time. Without you around, it was like he became someone else. I don't want to see him go back to that."

"I don't want to make him lose his home."

She swiftly shook her head, "Our mom won't actually kick him out. She's already worried about him enough as it is. I don't think that she would give herself another thing to fret over him."

"Well, if I just keep away from him she won't have too much to worry about then."

"Ash, you don't get it. There are certain things about Tyler that worry all of us and it has nothing to do with you."

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I questioned, "Like what?"   

She bit her lip sighing, "That's something that he needs to tell you, not me." 

"Alright, well I wish you all the best of luck with whatever he has going on." I tell her with a stiff nod and hurry into my mom's car before Madison can utter another word. 

***

I tossed my wrist support into my junk drawer as I finished cleaning my room. I had my headphones in, so when there was a knock at my door I jumped. 

I turned to see my mom standing in the doorway and she informs me, "Josh is here to see you."

"Tell him to come on up." I say as I turn off my music.

A minute later Josh steps in my room sending me a small wave saying, "Salutations."

I crack a smile at his odd way of greeting me, "Hey."

"So, how are you feeling?" He asks, gesturing to my hand.

"I'm all better thankfully." I say and then decide to ask, "How's Tyler?"

Josh moves to take a seat on the edge of my bed before speaking, "Physically he's all better, the cut on his head has almost disappeared."

"But other than that...?"

"He misses you. Whenever we aren't working on music, he brings you up a lot."

"What does he say?" 

Josh quickly ran a hand through his hair elaborating, "Just things about wondering what you're doing or what you would think about a certain song. They're just little things, but they come up quite a bit."

A strange mixture of aching and relief came over me. I wanted Tyler to be okay, but a part of me was glad that he still thought of me. 

During my moment of silence, Josh decided to add, "You know, I think you should talk to him."

"I can't, his mom will kill us both."

Josh gave me one of his long stares and then asked, "Fine, will you at least come to our show this Saturday?"

I bit at the inside of my cheek, before finally giving in with a nod, "Yeah, sure I'll go."

Josh pulled me into a tight hug at that murmuring, "Thanks Ash, we're really going to need the support." 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Prove Me Wrong by Tyler Joseph

Since my car was still in a state of disrepair I was glad that Carly was nice enough to give me a ride to the Twenty One Pilots concert. She was so excited to watch Josh and Tyler play that she chattered about it nearly nonstop. I couldn't resist grinning as I noticed how much she brought up Josh, they always seemed to have had more than friendly feelings towards each other. I wanted to see if tonight would be the night for something to finally happen. Other than that, I was nearly a nervous wreck.

I haven't seen Tyler for almost a month and to say that he hasn't been on my mind would be one of my biggest lies to date. Madison's remark in the hospital parking lot about Tyler having problems that she couldn't discuss lingered in my mind like a dark storm cloud. I don't know if showing up at this concert will be a good or bad thing for him. I feel like I've hurt him enough already as it is and I was worried that this would only make it worse. I decided that I was going to just stay out of his line of sight as best as I could.

I turned my attention out the window to the snowfall outside, everything was covered in at least an inch of white and it didn't appear like it was going to let up any time soon. Carly had her windshield wipers on at full force so she could see into the snowy night ahead of us, but not even the weather could dampen her cheery mood.

"Do you think Josh will be glad to see me at their show?" Carly asked with a mixture of excitement and worry in her tone.

I rose an eyebrow at her pointing out, "He already knows you're coming with me."

"I know, but how do you think he feels about it?"

"He always likes it when you're around Carly, why would this time be any different?"

A giddy grin sprung upon her face at my words, making me smile slightly. I found myself wondering if I've ever acted that way about Tyler, which only brought my mood back down again.

"Can I ask you something?" Carly questioned with a now serious expression on her face.

"Shoot."

"Why exactly did you decide to stop talking to Tyler that night in the hospital?"

I nervously licked my lips before explaining, "I just knew that it would be better for him if I made sure that we weren't around each other."

"How so?"

I shrugged, "Well, first of all, he left the basketball team right after he met me..."

She cut me off, "But wasn't that the reason you stuck up for him? Because he was trying to quit?"

"Yeah..."

"All you did was reassure him that it was the right choice since it was what he had wanted."

"True, but then he dropped out of college..."

"His decision."

"And his mom hates me for taking Jamie out of the picture."

"She should be thanking you. You and I both know that the girl is a monster. Plus, didn't you tell me that Tyler turned Jamie down way before he started being friends with you?"

I nodded in agreement, "And it was my idea for us to go out driving after his band member's left."

"There was no way you could have known that you were going to have an accident. That's why it's called an accident because it's unintentional."

I sighed, "You have a point, but she was threatening to kick him out and I guess I just got scared. It was the only thing that made sense for me to do."

"Ash, I know how you are. You probably panicked and decided to just run for it. I hate to say this, but you have a bad habit of running away when things get tough."

Before I could think of what to say back we were pulling into the venue's parking lot and Carly hastily made her way inside, while dragging me along. It was clear that we had made it here just in time because Josh was already on stage behind his drums. I could tell that he was very on edge to be playing for an audience, even if there were only maybe twenty people watching. Carly and I found an empty space near Josh and as soon as he saw us, a bright smile lit up his face. He sent us a quick wave before Tyler burst onto the stage.

It was very obvious that he had found his stage presence, something that swayed between being serious and then over to high energy. I was honestly glad that he seemed so lost in the show that he hadn't noticed me or if he did, he hadn't shown any sign of it. At the last song, Tyler sat back down behind his piano. He leaned forward to his microphone, dark brown eyes scanning the crowd they had gained.

My heart felt as if it had stopped when his gaze found me and then he began to speak, "So this song is a bit personal for me, so sorry about that. None the less, this is 'Prove Me Wrong.'"

I quickly realized that I had never heard this song, which was odd because I thought I had known all the songs Tyler had wrote.

And then he started to sing, "I don't know where I am supposed to go. So, I might just take my pride and go. Some people, they know, know everything, but I know that they don't know my heart."

Part of me wanted to just leave because I couldn't handle the intensity in his eyes, but that seemed to be the very same thing that was making me stay.

"Cause I, oh yeah, I believe in love. And I hope I can show you what I mean. And I don't believe love is for me, oh. So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?" He sang and that when I knew why I had never heard this song before because it was about me.

"Won't walk the world any different and my path won't change, until you make a wall and make me fall, and break me down."

I felt Carly's hand gently grab mine and squeeze it softly, had she known that this was going to happen?

"I don't know, no. I don't know if I wrote this song in vain. Vain, in vain, vain..."

I could feel other people's eyes on me now, they must have realized that he was singing to me, and only me.

"Oh, yeah and I - oh, yeah I believe in love. And I hope I can show you what I mean. And I don't believe love is for me. So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?"

My vision became foggy and I was doing my best to keep myself in check. I can't let him see me cry, he'll know the truth if I do.

"Prove me wrong, yeah. You don't know me and I don't know you. Tell me, what should I do? Oh..."

I can't do this, I just can't.

"So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?"

The second the song ended I bolted, unable to stop the tears now. I raced out of the building and into the snow-covered world outside. I relished in the silence as I brushed away the tears streaming down my cheeks. I let out a soft sob as I stared up at the dark cloudy sky, wondering why I had let them talk me into this. It wasn't like I truly didn't want to be with Tyler, because I certainly did, but it seems like nothing is willing to let that happen. No matter how badly I wanted to brush aside my worries and storm back in there to tell him the truth, I just couldn't. I'm just so afraid of hurting him.

A soft creaking sound caught my attention and I turned to see Tyler standing before me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Wake up by EDEN

 

All I could do was stare at him, feeling the heat that was still in my chest from the venue, despite the cold we now stood in. The snowfall had let up at last and now it came down gently. I would have considered all of this to be beautiful, if I had just looked around at the blankets of white on the road and everything else, but I could only watch this strange mix of hurt and rage on Tyler's face.

"Why did you leave like that?" He asked seeming to struggle to keep his voice steady.

I shook my head and spoke in a small voice, "It was just too much for me to deal with."

"I'm not talking about just now, I'm talking about back when we were in the hospital."

I sighed heavily, watching the cloud of air escape my lungs as I clenched my hands into fists. "Because it's better this way."

His eyebrows shot up in disbelief, "And what makes you think that?"

I didn't want to do this right now, not when I'm feeling this emotional. I can't risk hurting him even more. I glance back at him again and gather that he wasn't in the least bit of a good mood, which was obviously all my fault. I guess that means me just getting it out now is probably for the best.

"Because all I seem to do is mess up your life and you don't deserve it. I have no right to be around someone like you."

"Someone like me? What are you talking about?"

"Tyler, do you know what kind of gift you have? The music you make is going to help people and you deserve to be heard by everyone possible. You're not afraid to admit that you're human, but I'm afraid of getting in the way of all that. I don't want to find another way to mess things up for you."

Astonishment took over his features as he spoke, "Ashley, you're not seeing this right. You've done nothing but help me. In no way have you messed anything up. You've only made it better. The only thing I need you to do is to stop pushing me away."

I shook my head no, trying to keep on a straight face murmuring, "I can't."

"But why? This doesn't make any sense, why are you doing this?"

"Because I know you'll be better off without me."

"Are you insane? You just don't get it, do you? Without you, none of this would have happened for me! If you weren't the one to push me to pursue this, I would still be playing basketball and hating my life. I would have never let anyone even hear my music! I would never have met Josh without you." At this point, he seemed to be on the verge of tears and I felt sick to my stomach at the sight.

"I understand that, but you have all those things now. Why should me not being around make any difference to that?"

His tone was rough, "You're going to leave for good, aren't you?"

"Tyler, you won't have time to even worry about me. You'll be so busy with your new life, that I won't even cross your mind." I say, attempting to reassure him.

"You think I'd just forget you?"

"It shouldn't be hard; a lot of people have."

"Ashley, you don't even know what you mean to me, do you?"

I shrugged trying to fight off crying myself, "I'm just a setback."

He stepped closer to me saying, "Not to me."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek and I wanted to scream. I didn't need to let him see this. "Does it matter? It's true either way, everyone we know thinks I'm just hurting you in one way or another and right now I can see that I am."

"Because you're telling me that I won't ever see you again!" He shouted.

I decided then just to come right out and say it, "It's because I'm scared, okay? I'm scared of what your mom could do to you and what she thinks of me. I'm scared that one day this might not work and all of this will have been for nothing. Everyone will blame me and they'll hate me again. They'll make up their minds that I was using you, after all, to step out of the shadow of my father's sins and I just can't deal with it. I don't want to hurt you anymore Tyler, and I think that ending this here and now would be for the best."

"No, it wouldn't be, I don't care what anyone else thinks of you and me! I need you more than they would ever care to know. The only people that should matter in this is us. All I know is that when I'm with you I feel more alive than I ever have, and I don't want that to go away. I need you to stay, not just tonight, but for good." He confesses and cast his eyes down murmuring, "I don't even think I would be here right now if you weren't."

Another teardrop fell on my cheek as I said, "There's no way I could be that important to you."

He just shook his head before stepping over to me, quickly placing a hand at the back of my head and melded his lips to my own. I couldn't believe it; Tyler was kissing me. Despite the insanity of this moment, I returned the favor. I pressed my lips against his slightly chilled ones, and as I placed a hand on his shoulder I felt his free arm wrap around the small of my back. His movements were steady and paced, like he already had this thought out. Like he had wanted this to happen.

I felt warmth radiate from him as he pressed his body against mine, nearly every nerve ending in mine was buzzing from the contact. I moved my free hand up to cup his jaw as we moved our mouths together. I didn't know how this moment even became possible, but I knew that I wasn't going to waste it. He tasted like mint gum and something else that I can't even begin to describe and right then I knew I was addicted. So, this is what it feels like to kiss someone you're in love with.

There's so much excited energy inside you, waiting to make your chest combust from all of the happy emotions that get built up. I wanted to blame my slight shakiness on the cold, but I know it is really because of how nervous I am. I am so afraid of messing this up somehow, but Tyler just smiled softly against my lips, slowing things down for me. Somehow that just made the whole experience that much headier. My hand tightens into the fabric of his thin t-shirt and the other moved into the back of his feather-soft hair. I listened to him suck in a sharp breath of air at that before gently tugging at my bottom lip with his teeth, making me gasp as well.

When we finally let go, Tyler's eyes were darker than I had ever seen them and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I have to admit that it was the best kiss I had ever had, but something told me that this wasn't the last of it. I made up my mind in that space of a second, the whole world could hate me and I wouldn't care as long as I had him.

"Please don't leave me alone." He whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine with his eyes shut like if he opened them I would disappear.

My response was to capture his lips with mine once more, finding him happy to comply.

A shout behind us broke me out of my momentary bliss, "Tyler Robert Joseph!"


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Help by Hurts

I could feel every part of my being panic, but I noticed that Tyler had a bright smile on his face. I peered over my shoulder to see Josh faking a pout as he crossed his arms.

"But I thought you loved me!" He whined causing all three of us to burst out laughing.

When we all quieted down I asked, "How long have you been standing there?"

Josh grinned replying, "Long enough."

Tyler laughed, "You're such a creep."

Carly stepped out of the building with a knowing smile on her face asking, "Is everything alright out here?"

I nodded at her as she approached me and she pulled me to the side to tell me, "So Josh and I were planning to head out to get something to eat, do you care if you go with Tyler?"

I shrugged, "I'd ask him first, he's very stingy with Joshua."

She turned her attention Tyler pleading, "Ty, can I borrow your best buddy for a while?"

Tyler made a face before saying, "I guess so."

Carly did a little fist pump before giving Tyler a quick hug and then one to me as well before Josh comes over to tell us goodbye too.

As Josh embraced me he quietly murmured, "Aren't you glad I asked you to come?"

I rolled my eyes as I let him go saying, "Oh, hush."

He only grinned as he followed Carly back into the venue. Once all of their equipment was packed up and ready to go, Josh and Carly hurried off on their own. 

"So, are you ready to head back home?" Tyler asked as we made our way to his car.

I let out a small yawn before saying, "Yeah."

We waited inside the vehicle for the heat to clear up the windows before hitting the road. The only sound was the radio softly played for a couple of miles and I was on the verge of nodding off when Tyler spoke up.

"I hate this time of night." He remarks.

I tilted my head in his direction only asking, "How come?"

His hand reached up to fidget with his hair for a second before he found his voice again, "Certain things just come out around this time. I can't hide from my fears in the dark, because that's where they live."

I sat up a bit, feeling stunned by his words, he almost never told me things like this. "What are you afraid of?"

"Of not knowing, I guess. Not knowing my purpose, if anything I do even matters in the end."

"I think everyone is scared of that." I point out trying to reassure him in a way.

"But why does it to bother me so much? I don't see other's stressing over it the way I do."

"It's probably because you care, you want to make sure that you're doing something good with your life. At the same time, there are other people that could care less about the impact they have on the world. You're just more aware of your existence than some and that might be why it bugs you so much."

He smiled slightly at my statement and jokingly asked, "Is there anything about you that isn't completely wonderful?"

I let out a dry laugh, "There are plenty of things wrong with me, trust me."

He momentarily peered over at me, "Do tell."

I shifted uncomfortably, but I decided to push my uneasiness aside explaining, "Well, for starters, I have an awful tendency of letting my anxiety call the shots. Nearly everything I do is clouded with the worry of messing up or having someone see me in a negative light. A lot of the time making decisions is liking pulling teeth."

I watched him nod along as he listened to me, silently urging me to continue.

"As much as I hate it, there are times I miss my dad. I know that what he did is unforgivable, but sometimes I catch myself wondering how and where he is. Wondering if he misses me, is what makes me the saddest. I ponder all the time if he thought about what he might be doing to my life and if he cared about that at all."

"There's nothing wrong with that, missing your father doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. I would be more worried if you didn't."

I rose an eyebrow at that, "What makes you say that?"

"It's not in your nature to be any other way. You care so much about everyone else, never once have I seen you behave selfishly. Nearly everything you do is for someone else. Very few people can say that." 

I smiled softly as I bowed my head to hide my blush, "Thanks, Ty."

He surprised me when we stopped at a red light by placing his fingertips under my chin to lift my face up to his. My eyes met his in the red haze, tinting his entire being in the ruby color. He leaned in to gently press his lips to mine and I returned the kiss until the car behind us honked its horn. Tyler pulled back chuckling and took off yet again.

"So, I was talking to Madison not too long ago about something the two of you had discussed and she said that she hadn't wanted to tell you because she felt it wasn't her place to." He tells me with an expression that was a mixture of stressed and nervous.

"Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about." I say, recalling what she had said about the things that worry their family over him. 

He inhaled deeply before speaking, "In the past, I've had some trouble with... hurting myself." 

"That's why you have..." I start but trail off, almost too scared to say the word scars out loud. 

He bit his lip as he nodded his head and then continued, "It started when I was about seventeen, when I first began to seriously consider the idea of taking my own life."

I didn't mean to, but a sharp gasp escaped me at his words. His eyes were now glistening and the moment of silence between us felt like it had lasted an eternity. 

When he finally spoke again his voice sounded so small, "You don't hate me now, do you?"

That instantly caused my heart to experience a horrible aching pain, making my own eyes well as I say, "Of course not."

He glanced at me then, "Are you afraid of me?"

I shook my head in disbelief, "Why would I be? Tyler, this doesn't change how I feel about you or see you. If it does anything, it lets me know that you trust me enough to tell me these things. After everything we've been through, knowing what I know now, it's not going to push me away."

He smiled weakly murmuring, "Thank you."

I reached over to brush a hand through his feather-soft hair suggesting, "You should come to stay the night at my house."

He nodded as he leaned into my caress, "I'd love to."


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Guillotine by Jon Bellion

I saw that when Tyler pulled into my driveway that my mom's car wasn't there. When we made our way inside I found a note on the coffee table telling me that she and Noah were going to be in Cincinnati for the weekend.

"I guess it's just us." I remarked.

Tyler just nodded with a yawn.

"You're tired, aren't you? Come on, you can sleep in my room." I tell him as I motion for him to follow me upstairs.

I flipped the light on as we entered the room and Tyler didn't hesitate to crawl under the covers, making himself comfortable. I smiled softly at the sight as I went to the attached bathroom to change into my nightclothes. I slipped on a baggy Blink-182 t-shirt and some gray pajama bottoms. I stepped out, making sure to leave the bathroom light on and the door cracked open in case Tyler needed to get up at any point.

I turned the bedroom light off before making my way to the door murmuring, "Goodnight."

As I stepped out of the room I heard Tyler quietly ask, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to sleep in my mom's room."

He seemed hesitant to speak before saying, "You can just stay in here with me. If you want."

I grinned slightly at his words before reentering my room telling him, "Okay, scoot over then."

He moved over a bit, lifting the comforter for me to slip in with him. Even though it seemed silly, I was nervous to be so physically close to Tyler. None the less, I moved to lay down beside him. As soon as I did, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his form. I was glad that the room was so dim because when he leaned in to place a kiss on my temple and then rested his head on my shoulder, I felt myself blush deeply.

I traced swirling patterns into his arm and t-shirt covered side as I listened to him drift into sleep. I gazed down at him, observing the details of his face, doing my best to commit them to memory. Just having him here next to me felt like some sort of blessing. How had I gotten so lucky to even know someone like Tyler? I still can barely wrap my mind around the idea that he seems to feel the same way I do about him. It was only a matter of time before his steady breathing lulled me into a peaceful sleep. 

Several hours later, I'm awoken by the sound of panting and quiet groaning. It took me a second to realize that it was Tyler making all the noise. I peered over to him, my eyes still heavy with sleep, seeing that he still seemed to be asleep. His face was contorted into a scowl and his hands were clenched into fists, like he was preparing to fight something. I decided that I had enough of watching him remain in the nightmare he was having and gingerly shook him. 

"Tyler, it's just a dream. Wake up." I murmur to him as I lightly brush my palm over his face from his temple to his jaw.

A moment later his eyes shot open and he inhaled sharply as if he had just been suffocated. Sweat was beading on his brow as his eyes flitted around my room in the faint morning light. 

"Hey, it's okay. You were just having a nightmare. You're safe now." I gently reassure him as he stared up at me and seemed to visibly relax. 

He reached his now opened hands to me, pulling me against his chest and then rested his chin on top of my head. He remained silently for a few more minutes before whispering, "Thank you."

"So, what was it about?"

His chest heaved against me as he let out a sigh, "You'll probably think I'm crazy if I tell you."

"Try me."

He shifted around underneath me, before tightening his grip on me ever so slightly. "I've had the nightmare a few times before, it usually happens when I'm about to get bad again. That's what scares me more than anything else."

"By bad, do you mean your depression?"

He nodded lightly against me.

"What exactly happens?"

"In my nightmares?"

It was my turn to nod.

His fingers combed through the hair on the back of my neck as he spoke, "I'm usually wandering around in the darkness and then in the distance, I see a figure that I know I need to get away from. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with them, but it's almost like an instinct to run. Well, when I do start running I can't get away from the thing and it only gets closer and closer each time I nearly escape it. And then I realize something, that this thing looks just like me, except it has red eyes. I stop and stare at it for a long time, feeling this strange mix of fear and sadness. Surprisingly, the weirdest part is this thing's face won't stay in focus, almost like it's a mask and the face it has doesn't belong to it. It's face..."

He trailed off for a moment before adding, "It's blurry."

"Wow, that does sound scary." I remark and then ask, "Why do you think you have nightmares like that?"

"I honestly wish I knew." He tells me before letting out a long yawn. 

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?"

"Sure, I'll have you here to protect me from Blurryface, won't I?" He asked, seeming to be trying to keep his tone light and humorous, but I was almost certain that I could detect fear as well.

I turned my head into his neck, kissing it softly before murmuring against his warm skin, "Of course you will."

He laughed breathlessly at the psychical contact before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. It wasn't long before we both drifted back off into sleep, both of us still tangled together as if it was the safest place in the world.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Simple and Sweet by Jon Bellion

Warm sunlight and gentle kisses upon my eyelids roused me from sleep the next morning. The soft pecks trailed down my face until Tyler's lips found my own. I smiled momentarily before returning the gesture, reaching my hand up to cup his face. His soft, warm mouth gave me one last chaste kiss before leaning away.

"Get up sleepy head." He coaxes in a slightly raspy voice, telling me that he must have just woken up too.

I barely opened my eyes to find Tyler leaning into me with a drowsy smile. I stretched somewhat as I tried to wake myself up more.

"How'd you sleep?" I ask, referring to after he had the nightmare.

"A lot better than usual." He admits before sitting up and asking, "So what do you want to do today?"

"I would honestly love to just stay inside and do a lot of nothing." I confess.

"How does a movie day sound to you?"

"It sounds great." He grinned at that and hopped out from under the covers making me laugh and ask, "What are you doing?"

"I was going to go make us some snacks and stuff to bring up here."

I smiled at him and slid out of my bed saying, "We can go downstairs. It'll be less of a mess and the TV is bigger."

"That sounds good to me." He agrees and gathers up the covers, telling me that we'll need them for warmer cuddles.

"Why are you so ridiculously cute?"

He grinned and pecked me on the nose before saying, "I could ask you the same thing."

Once we were downstairs we raided the kitchen for snacks and popcorn. We ended up dumping it all on the coffee table and after I let Tyler pick some movies as I watched the popcorn in the microwave.

"How does Donnie Darko sound?" He called from the living room.

I grabbed a large bowl before replying, "I love that movie!"

A second later his head popped in the doorway and he says, "You are officially my favorite person now."

"You better not let Josh know that."

"He'll live."

Once the popcorn was ready and the DVD was put in, Tyler and I huddled together on the couch. During a scene with Donnie and Gretchen, I notice that Tyler seems fidgety.

"Are you okay over there?"

"Yeah, I've just had something on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's something I want to ask you and I feel like it would be alright since we've known each other for long enough. But its still making me nervous." He explains and I start to think I might know what he's going to say next, which makes my heart rate pick up.

Despite my nerves, I tell him, "Don't be, just get it off your chest and I'll help you sort out the rest of it."

He bit at his lip before blurting out, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

That caused me to giggle, "Of course."

A toothy grin took over his expression before he pulled me over to him to kiss me deeply. I could've stayed like that all day if I had my way, but sadly the sound of the front door being unlocked forced me to lean away. I peered over the top of the couch to see my mom and Noah entering the house. I was sort of shocked to see them, I had figured they wouldn't be back until tomorrow.

My mom smiled at us remarking, "Well, don't you two look comfy."

I nodded and returned the smile asking, "How was Cincinnati?"

I was pleasantly surprised when Noah was the one to answer me, "It was great, the trip just ended up taking a lot less time than we were expecting."

"So, what were you two up to?" My mom asked as she glanced at the coffee table covered in snacks.

"It looks like they're having a movie marathon. I love Donnie Darko." Noah states as his eyes move from the TV to a bag of unopened M&M's.

I tossed the bag to him and he catches it with a grin. "Thanks, Ash."

"So, I hate to be nosey, but are you all back together?" My mom questions, looking sheepish.

I decided not to mention that we had technically just gotten together in the way she meant and simply nodded in response.

Her expression changed into a bright smile saying, "Thank goodness, I was worried. I really like you two together and I would have hated to see it end."

"Oh, don't get sappy on them now." Noah chides playfully.

She raises an eyebrow at her boyfriend and sassed, "I can do whatever I want, it's my job to be sappy as her mother. In fact, who's in the mood to see some baby pictures?"

"Mom, no!" I protested.

She only chuckled at my response and reached into the bookshelf in the corner of the room, pulling out the photo albums from the bottom shelf. She pranced over to the couch and cleared a spot for the books before sitting down next to Tyler. It wasn't hard to tell that he found all this amusing as he sent me a mischievous look.

Noah shook his head and strolled over to take a seat beside me murmuring, "I'll try my best to give you some moral support."

I let out a small laugh, "Thanks for that."

My mom opened the first photo album to reveal pictures of me from when I was baby, thankfully she wasn't the kind of person to take bathtub pictures. It was sweet to see the smile on her face as she explained each photograph, but the moment my dad's face showed up among them, it faltered. Her eyes met mine and she gave me a small apologetic smile, I returned it with a slight nod. I moved my gaze back down, staring at the picture of my dad and me.

I was at least four years old, grinning from ear to ear over the purple paint smeared all over me and my pale yellow dress. My dad appeared to be laughing as he attempted to clean off my cheek with a paper towel. I can still recall my mom shaking her head at us from the camera, saying that she was glad that at least church was already over. My eyes dampened at the memory. It was hard to recall something so sweet and innocent when it ended so bitterly.

My mom flipped through several pages of photographs, passing through more and more images of my father. There was the time he had first started teaching me how to play the ukulele when I was ten. Then there was a picture of when he had baptized me at fourteen. Every snapshot brought up an old memory, each more painful than the last. The one that seemed to be the last straw was a simple shot of all three of us in front of the Christmas tree, just two months before he had run out on us.

I noticed that my mom's blue eyes glistened for a second before she spoke, "So, we didn't have a chance to grab lunch, would you two like anything?"

"I think an extra cheesy pizza sounds like a good option to me." Noah volunteered.

Mom nodded and rose from the couch murmuring, "I'll go see if we have any coupons."

Noah followed her into the kitchen as she raided the cabinet drawers. He slowly wound his arms around her waist from behind her and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. I was relieved to see her smile despite herself from his actions, I was truly grateful that my mom had found someone like him.

I peered back over at Tyler to find him still going through the photo album, a tiny and sort of sad-looking smile tugged at his lips.

When he noticed me watching him, he comments, "You were such a cute kid."

I chuckled, "Thanks."

He turned to the next page and I could tell that he was lingering on the picture of my dad and me at my high school graduation. His voice was so soft when he spoke up that I nearly couldn't hear him, "Where do you think he is now?"

I let out a small sigh, "I try not to think about it actually."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He begins to apologize in a rush.

I shake my head to quiet him before saying, "It's alright. My best guess is he's out there somewhere with Jacklyn and they are most likely laying low."

"Do you think you'll ever see him again?"

I shrugged, "Who knows?"

"What would say to him now if you could?"

I pondered over that for a long moment before finally answering, "I'd ask him, what did I do wrong to make him want to leave so badly?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> No One by Alicia Keys

 

 

Sunday morning, I watched as the choir singers were gathered up from the classroom, but I was surprised when one of the soprano's, Abby, hung back. She pushed her red hair out of her eyes as she approached me. It was strange to have Josh's sister seeking me out, she was a fairly shy girl, even though I have been to her house plenty of times.

"Ms. Ashley?"

I smirked slightly over the fact she still felt the need to formally address me. "Yes, hon?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tyler waiting for her to tag along, but he didn't say anything to make her hurry up.

"Josh said that you and Mr. Tyler are boyfriend and girlfriend now. Is that true?" She asked innocently, but I knew Josh had done this on purpose to mess with me.

Even if he couldn't attend church that often because of his job, he still found ways to get others to mess with me. I just couldn't believe he had dragged his younger sibling into it this time. I overheard Marceline and Tyler chuckle at Abby's question. I made a mental note to find a way to get Josh back for this later.

I smiled at her and nodded, "He was telling the truth."

She grinned brightly at that saying, "That's great! Well, bye, Ms. Ashley!"

She skipped out of the room, beaming up at Tyler as she passed. Tyler looked over at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"You got to love Joshua." I state with a shake of my head.

He nodded in agreement before waving and slipping off to the music room. 

"So, you two are officially a thing?" Marceline questions with an excited smile.

"Were you not listening?" I joke.

"It's about time, but you two are about to be a world of trouble, aren't you?" She asked as her tone saddened a bit.

"When his mom finds out we will be." I mumble and watch her frown only deepen.

She let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't get it. He's an adult and she truly shouldn't be trying to control his decisions. Can't she tell that you make each other ridiculously happy?"

"If I knew how to change her mind, there isn't a thing that I wouldn't do to make it happen." I murmur as I move to lean against the doorframe, watching Tyler help direct the choir. 

"Have you ever just sat down and talked with her about what was really going on with your dad? Maybe she would see things differently if she knew the whole truth."

I shook my head as I cast my eyes back on Marceline. "I'm honestly too afraid to attempt something like that."

She gave me a smile that I'm sure she meant to be reassuring as she questions, "But would it hurt to try?"

I ran a hand through my hair as I let out a small noise of aggravation mumbling, "I guess not."

Later that day I went over to Josh's, hoping that he would provide me with some sort of helpful advice on how to go about talking with Kelly. It became clear the more we discussed it, he was just as lost as I am. 

"Tyler's mom can be really stubborn."

I let out a bark of a laugh, "That's a bit of an understatement."

"I think the best way to go about it is to just be forward with her, tell her that you want to talk to her about your dad and about what he really did. Tell her that you just want to make sure that she knows the whole truth."

"But what if she still doesn't believe me afterward?"

He shrugged slightly, "At least you tried."

I rose an eyebrow at him, but before I can say anything, he goes on.

"I know that you and Tyler will make this work, no matter what anyone else thinks or does. This is about the two of you, to hell with everyone else."

I actually managed to crack a smile at that. "You're right."

"If you want, I can go with you when you go speak with her, as moral support. At least it won't just be you versus her."

I nodded vigorously, "That would be great." 

Josh smiled brightly as he rose from his computer chair telling me, "Come on then."

I gave him another look of confusion asking, "Where are we going?"

"We're going to go get this over with. The sooner this is done, the better."

I felt a lump grow in my throat as I warily stared up at Josh. I took in a deep breath and took his outstretched hand, standing up. Josh drove us over to Tyler's house and every minute that passed by I could have sworn my heartbeat picked up a bit more pace. 

Josh must have noticed my terrified expression because he reached over to pat my arm saying, "You can do this, Ash."

I swallowed hard and nodded. I peered out the window as we pulled into the driveway, seeing that everyone's car was there. Josh climbed out of the vehicle as soon as he killed the engine and I knew that I didn't really have any other choice but to follow along. Part of me considered bolting off down the street as Josh rang the doorbell, but I didn't have time as the door opened a moment later. I held my breath when Kelly's gaze fell onto me and her once cheery expression darkened. 

"Hey Mrs. Joseph, we were wondering if you had a minute?" Josh asks in a pleasant tone.

She stepped out on the porch, quietly shutting the door behind her. Of course, she wouldn't let us inside. 

"So, what do you need?" She questions in a formal sort of voice. 

It was clear that she didn't want to be mean to Josh, but she didn't hold the same consideration for me. It was obvious that she was struggling on the inside. Josh gave me a slight nudge with his shoulder, prompting me to speak up. 

I inhaled deeply, trying to steady myself, and began, "I'm here because I want you to know the truth about what happened with my dad."

She rose an eyebrow, cautiously saying, "Alright."

Something caught my eye behind her, several of the window blinds were pulled down and five pairs of eyes peered out at us. I guess that meant the rest of the family was going to be my audience. I gathered my concentration and began to tell her the story of the downfall of my family.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song:
> 
> Trouble by Coldplay

 

I had to take a deep breath after I explained every detail of my father walking out on my mother, me, and the church. I told Kelly about how my mom knew that he wasn't being faithful to her, but she prayed every night for God to fix things instead of doing something herself. I explained how the staff members of the church decided to keep the stolen money problem amongst themselves, even when they knew that it was a risky choice. I made sure to also add in that Jamie was the one to inform everyone else of the embarrassing problem back when she and I had been friends and I had confided in her. 

Kelly listened respectfully, nodding along every now and then. I started to have a feeling of relief as I told her the story, she was understanding it. That emotion was swiftly cast aside when she lets out a sigh.

"Thank you for telling me this, Ashley. Unfortunately, if you're hoping that this confession will get you my blessing to be in a relationship with Tyler, it won't."

"Why not?" Josh cut in with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I don't believe what they have is very healthy. All I hear about is how she pushes Tyler away when things have gotten rough and I don't want him to get his heartbroken because of it."

"But the only time she's ever turned him away was because she knew that you didn't want them together. She was more worried about him than a possible relationship." 

I rested a hand on Josh's shoulder murmuring, "It's fine, I've said my piece. Let's just go. Have a nice day Mrs. Joseph."

I kept my hand on Josh's shoulder to guide him away, it was clear that he had more that he wanted to say. Thankfully he just followed along with me back to the car. Before we could get in, another voice called out from behind us.

"Ashley! Josh! Wait for me!" Tyler came jogging over to the car and murmurs, "Let's blow this popsicle stand."

I couldn't help laughing at that, "Are you even real?"

"I don't know, you tell me." He replies before pecking me on the cheek.

I cast a nervous glance back at his house to find that his mom was still standing right there on the porch, watching us. Her jaw was slackened just like mine at his actions. Despite this, Tyler grabs my hand and guides me towards Josh's car, opening the door for me. I ducked inside and kept my eyes down as we pulled out of the driveway, knowing that Kelly was still watching us like a hawk. I couldn't help feeling frustrated that she still couldn't find it in herself to accept me, but I wasn't going to let it deter me this time around. There isn't a person on the face of this planet that can make me turn away from Tyler. 

Josh drove us back to my house, but I was confused to see another vehicle parked alone in my driveway. Josh and I exchanged suspicious glances, but we pulled up beside the van regardless. Before I could even step out a figure emerged in front of Josh's car and I let out an audible gasp.

"Is that who I think it is?" Tyler asked sounding shocked.

I swallowed as I nodded, "It's my dad."

With apprehension in my every move, I got out of the car to face him. Even though I hadn't seen him in years, he still looked the same as always. I peeked back over at his dark blue van, noticing that it seemed to be empty, which I found somewhat surprising. I had half a mind to call the cops to let them know that I had the thief that took my church's donation money standing before me. At the same time, my curiosity for his reason for showing his face here kept me from doing anything just yet. 

"Hey, Ashley, it's good to see you." He greets me in a nervous tone.

"What are you doing back here?" I question, cutting straight to the point.

"Look, I know I have a lot of explaining to do, but if you would just give me a minute of your time I do my best to answer any questions you have."

"That's my only question, why are you here?"

He gave me a sad smile murmuring, "I just missed my little girl."

An explosion of outrage and agony felt like it was erupting in my chest as I roared, "If you missed me so much why didn't you come around sooner?! Why did you even leave in the first place?"

"Please don't yell..."

"You of all people have no right to tell me what to do! You left me and mom to clean up the mess you made! They blame us too, did you ever consider that? Mom doesn't even go to church anyone because of what you did. I had to listen to her cry and beg to God every night to bring you back. Of all the things she could have prayed for, it was you. I've had to put a brave face every single morning since the day you left and face ridicule for things that were out of my control. Now things are getting better for us, so the last thing either of us needs is for you to come back around and screw up the peace we achieved."

My father opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but quickly shut it again as he bowed his head. His voice was even softer now, "I just want to come to tell you how sorry I am, for everything."

"If you really want to apologize, fix what you did. Give that money back to the church, but there isn't anything you can say to me that will make me forgive you right now."

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and Tyler spoke gently to me, "Come on, Ash. We should get you out of here for a while."

I allowed Tyler to guide me back to Josh's car and we drove off, leaving my father standing in the driveway. Almost in the same way he had left my mom and me years ago.


End file.
